Irish Girl (Explicit)-The Bedroom Philosopher
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Irish Girl (Explicit) - The Bedroom Philosopher

Dear god thank you for blessing us with this beautiful day

A day of which I'll see none of

As I go to work onboard a packed tram

After four hours sleep thanks to my hippy neighbours

Impromptu bush doof

Reconciled with an apology note written in the dust

On the back window of my corolla

Which you continue to smiteth with clutch problems

Thank you god for creating me in your image

By the way in the bible it never mentioned you were short

Or an irish girl

Meaning I'm the perfect dimensions to be the meat in an ipod sandwich

Getting guitar from one song and vocals from another

Creating the new band madonnica

I can only see in mono but smell in stereo

Nothing says good morning like an elbow

In the tits from a flatulent accountant

Dear god thank you for bestowing me with this razor sharp wit

Which guys find so memorising

Till the six month mark of the relationship

When they deem me too negative

Which is boy code for I think I've got

A window with this so called friend

I've secretly had a crush on for years

Ps I only pretended to like death cab for cutie

Your breasts are weird and your risottos on the gluggy side

I can't cut up the photos of us because they're all on facebook

But I can still retag you arsehole

Arsehole

Dear god thank you for sending me the charismatic

Yet flaky best friend

Who convinced me to come to australia for a year

Only to bail out after two weeks cos shes homesick

She wanted to get back with her uk boyfriend

Because in certain light he looked like

And could actually be pete doherty

God only you yourself know why I've been here three years

Realising my potential as a temping superstar

Thank you seek dotcom it turns out funky

Young workplace means call centre

And exciting new opportunities means

Drifting through the mall handing out pamphlets dressed

As a giant marsupial

Disenfranchised

I'm dissin' franchises all the time

Hey starbucks

Get f**ked

Dear god I know you work in mysterious ways

But you should realise were pretty sh*t detectives

In the absence of any discernible proof bar

A few sunsets and orgasms

I'd like to think you're there for me in a santa kind of way

Christmas I'd like a job in a bookstore

A yoga instructor boyfriend

And the ability to get my period before or after music festivals

Seriously it's about time you got involved

For gods sake stop embarrassing all the christians

The name of the father the son and the holy spirit

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