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Ramona's Revenge - Tom T. Hall
Ramona lived just down the hill from us.
She kept the house her mother drove the bus.
(an old yellow school bus)
Ramona had a handicap the
Neighborhood knew well.
Ramona couldn't speak or couldn't spell.
And that left Ramona at a
Considerable disadvantage among the more fluent
Although she couldn't write or couldn't talk,
Ramona really had a pretty walk.
(a four letter figure)
Because she couldn't write or
Speak nobody asked her out.
But"bad-eye" Thompson hung
Around the house. he was what you'd call a
Familiar figure in the neighborhood
Well I guess their handicaps
Were common ground.
'Cause"bad-eye" Thompson always hung around.
He could squint that eye and spit tobacco thirty feet.
Ramona always grinned and
Stomped her featuresbecause,
To Ramona this was one of
The finer things in life
One day Ramona found herself with child.
She couldn't speak. Her mom was going wild.
Confusion reigned for half a
Day as one could understand.
The county judge came down
To lend a hand. and I think it should be noted in
The interest of justice that the
Judge was acting in a strictly unofficial
Capacity
The neighbors gathered 'round Ramona's porch.
The judge said,"Understand, this is not a court".
Ramona squealed as all the breathless
Neighbors gathered 'round
Then she closed one eye and (puh-tui)
Spat upon the ground.
And it's a familiar old phrase that
"birds of a feather will flock together".
And justice will be done
