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Those crazy Christians
I was gonna sleep in today
But the church bells woke me up
And they're a half a mile away
Those crazy Christians
Dressed up drivin' down my street
Get their weekly dose of guilt
Before they head to Applebee's
They pray before they eat
And they pray before they snore
They pray before a football game
And every time they score
Every untimely passing
Every dear departed soul
Is just another good excuse
To bake a casserole
Those crazy Christians
Go and jump on some airplane
And fly to Africa or Haiti
Risk their lives in Jesus' name
No they ain't the late night party kind
They curse the devil's whiskey
While they drink the Savior's wine
A famous TV preacher
Has a big affair and then
One tearful confession
And he's born again again
Someone yells hallelujah
And they shout and clap and sing
It's like they can't wait to forgive someone
For just about anything
Those crazy Christians
Instead of being outside
On this sunny afternoon
They're by the bedside of a stranger
In a cold hospital room
And every now and then
They meet a poor lost soul like me
Who's not quite sure just who
Or what or how he ought to be
They march him down the aisle
And then the next thing that you know
They dunk him in the water
And here comes another one of
Those crazy Christians
They look to heaven their whole life
And I think what if they're wrong
But what if they're right
You know it's funny
Much as I'm baffled by it all
If I ever really needed help
Well you know who I'd call
Is those crazy Christians
