Survival (Explicit)

Mamma in the halfway house, new man every night

Always find wrong in everything, ** is never right

Homie locked down in a cell, I own every right

Does doing wrong things for the right reason make it right?

Seeing loved ones hurting bad, homie, that’s hard

Mamma throwing ** at your dad and gettin’ slapped hard

Mamma’s new boyfriend hangin’ in the backyard

And I mean literally hangin’ in the backyard

Had a crush on this girl when I was like nine or ten

Fast forward, her brother ended up killin’ my friend

I was scared of the world so I would live in my bed

Now I get money, I just live in the bands

Drinkin’ to numb the pain, the pain still remains

Had my homie laying lifeless, heroin in his veins

The grass is always greener but that’s probably ’cause it rains

On the other side more, so I probably shouldn’t complain

A lot up on my mind, it can’t fit in my brain

If you knew all of my thoughts, you would call me insane

Blood is thicker than water but I live in a drought

The things that kills us the things that we can not live without

My cousin was a good kid, died from a bullet

Meanwhile 6ix9ine beggin’ for someone to pull it

I ain’t have a role model on how to treat a women

Had to teach myself what the ** my father couldn’t

We act like suicide and anxiety not a part of society

People die before they get the sobriety

I don’t rap for the money or the damn notoriety

I don’t talk lately, nah, I been movin’ quietly

I know my people proud of me, everyone lookin’ down on me

I was sinnin’, now I got these angels surrounding me

Chasin’ this dream, no time to be cowardly

Thanks to my fans for allowing me

Saw my parents poppin’ pills, followed in their footsteps

Took a couple steps back every time I took steps

People make life way harder than it has to

Get caught in a **ed up cycle, life past you

Kids dyin’ in the streets, now it’s a classroom

There’s a lot, God, that I really want to ask you

I know you real, but sometimes you make me question it

The kid killed seventeen people ‘fore they arrested him

Seeing your dad OD in the kitchen

The stove is still hot, mashed potatoes with the chicken

When people love you, why they always try to keep ** hittin’

So many lives lost to alcohol and addiction

You ever see your dad crush his pills and he snortin’ it?

If you look the other way, that means that you ignoring it

Which means that you supportin’ it

These rappers just recordin’ shit

Put it on the internet, companies endorsin’ it

If you have to question it, you don’t know what depression is

So many times I thought I learned my lesson, I never did

Provide for your family by any means

If I ain’t rap, probably could’ve died in these streets

Mamma always throwin’ shit

Plus she always throwin’ fits

Wanna break down and cry but we just hold it in

Scared to show emotions ’cause our fathers never showed us it

We do the same things to our kids and we don’t notice it

Always do the wrong thing with the right intentions

I don’t do the “internet talkin'”, stay out my mentions

Brother got arrested, could’ve been a blessin’

Someone could’ve died without even second guessing

The world that I’m alone in, tears that I’m soaked in

Got a bad temper, it’s gettin’ hard to control it

Sometimes you can’t be there for someone that you love

Because they’re too lost in the ***

Survival