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Four years ago
A teenage girl changed my life in a one conversation
She was thirteen years old
She was a friends little cousin
And she casuably told me
That she had matched the man
She was going to marry
So i said all kind tell me about him
And she told me that his name was harry styles
So i lave gh a little like you
And then she said i know you don't think i'm serious span actually going to bey with him
Because i love him so much
That i would sleep someonethroat to be with him
And that was the moment that i became obsurhist with fan girls
I didn't know it then
But that moment would it transform the course of my life and go on to change everything
That i thought
I knew about being an adult
Being a woman and being tremely happy
But before we get started
What is a fan go and what he's a harry styles
Well according to the dictionary
The mirror webs
Addictionary a fan girl is a girl or woman
Who is an extremely or overly enthusiastic fan of someone or something technically you can have fangals of anything
But my specific interest was in fangals of boy bds
Because of their somewhat lethal reputation
I remember my dadthad told me
The story of some beetles fans in the sixties
Who apparently had torn a parked bmw to literal pieces
Because the ban had supposedly just been sattener in the sixties
The beatles were the biggest boyband on the planet
But when i met this girl in two thousand and fifteen
The biggest boyband on the planet was not another than one direction and harry styles was a member of one direction
Harry styles was reputed for his compassionate domana and perfect tail
I learned this
When i read thousands of tweets about him
I learned that he is a sweet cupcake
I learned that he is a perfect angel
I learned that one time he vomited on the side of a freeway in alialiforniand and within
Within two hours fans had turned side of the vommit into a sacred shrine
I scrow through i his girl through fan made paintings of harry baby photos of him
Paintings of baby photos of him
I watch videos that shome me how to make diy love tohodms for harry on for example a lampp de cocovered a photos
His his ace ace or kehearing that staate the exact time of his birth
I read hours of fan fiction
And i fall down the specific graabbit hole of stories that actually placed me as a protagonst inside a various imagined romances with him
I'm so in one
I tell him that i'm magnant with his child
In another we made in hospital where we're both fighting cancer
And in another we fall so deeply in love that we become pugitives who kill people
But then something unthinkable happens one direction the biggest boyband on the planet loses a member
Xane malik quits the band and the internet explodes with fields
I read tweets as these girls describe the physical pain of this loss
How they can't eat or sleep or walk
I read them describe how much zae had meant to them
And i watch videos of ten year old girls crying
But i'm really crying
And then i watch as people repost these videos
But with new titles that contain words like crazy and creepy and insane and suddenly
My youtube sidebar contains compilation fans react to zae e ving ving cycle alert
Then i watch as mainstream news outlets cover the story
I read them described these young benchees i read one journalist say
It's a commonly known fact since the age of the beetles
That there is nothing scaria in this world
Than a group of excited teenage girls
And then i ask myself a question
I've never considered in my life
Why is it
That the image of young girls screaming their lungs out with excitement for a pop star is considered crazy cyco scary a bit match
But the image of young boys screaming their lungs out for a footballer is perfectly normal boys crying at the footy deaths all lover the game girls crying at a justin beever concept that's pathetic
And as soon as i realized his double standard
I realize that all of my curiosity about fan goals had been spoked by exactly the same judgments
I too had suspected that they were a bit crazy
I'd looked at images of girl's screaming for the beetles
The back ackry boys one direction and the word that had come to mind for not excitement but histeria and what i did not know
Was the history of that word that in the one thousand nine teenth century
Hysterial was considered to be a legitimate female mental disorder that could be diagnosed by talctors
If women displayed excessive emotion or difficult behavior
The word hiysterical comes from the latten word hiysterious meaning of the oom
Because it was thought that this condition was caused by a disfunction of the uterous
And so actually bent for hiysteria was a hysterrectime
Which is what we still call a removal of the whom
And at this point i decide to redeclare my obsession
Because i am no longer just obsessed with fan girls
Now i'm obsessed with the way that the world talks about fan girls
And the way that the world looks at young female enthusiasm
Because i want to know if girls grow up in a world
Where words like crazy and pychoo and hiyorical
I casualally used to describe female enthusiasm
Then how does that shape the way that those schools get to see themselves
And if the girls grow up in a world
That tells them that they are designed just a bit crazer than the voice
Then isn't that a little bit like telling them that they are born less capable of rationality than men less capable of reason and unworthy of the same intellectual respect as their brothers separately i become obsessed with female screens non a crazy way i'm talking about like those shrieks and squeells that fangoals led out at concerts
I want to know why it is that some people instincvely flinched when i'm merely describe the sound like it's painful just just think about it
Then i meet amy y hushshe's a voice coach
And she blows my mind
Because she tells me that the female voice between the ages of eleven and thirteen is one of the most interesting things to study why because this is research by carol gililgan
That says that is the age
When girls begin to perform and ulter their voices for example
Adding reath for maturity
Ity adding local thraih a apathy
But tell me according to this research
When you reckon that boys began to perform and alter their voices
Now i guess eighteen
Because men mature were later right wrong
The answer was four years old
Because that is when boys learn not to cry or squeel
That those are not mandly sounds and that's when i realized that a fangle shick is therefore like a superpower
Because it's is fearless and honest expression of pure celebration enjoy
And it's a sound
They have not forgotten the how to make i actually reckon that fangals have a second superpower
Because they know how to do something that most of my adult friends have no idea how to do fan goals
Know how to love something without apology or fear
My use of researching fangals combminated in this determination to write something that celebrates and vindates them
So i decided to make this thriler comedy dy sicical
That sounds like a beyond say concert makes rave meto church
I called it fangals
And i designed it like a trosien horse
So it appears to make fun of these young women only to like smugle them into your heart of things at one point
Things at one point a girl things
Why should i hide my feelings
Because they annoy you
Or because it isn't what the boys do and as a former fanelcynic that is the question that i want to leave you all with why should fangls turn it down
Because theyy're crazy
Or because out definition reasonable is based on what it is acceptable for men to do
What if we rethink the judgments
We've been condition to feel when we see young women screaming their lungs out with excitement
What if we decided to rethink the words
We use to describe that joy
And what if we didn't allow ourselves to diminish gals ls words ds underundermine their intellience ts their interests and their capability
Because according to my research
They are capable of building a shrine to hirry styles
Vomomit on the side of a free way within two hours that takes some executive skills in logistics and communication
If that is engcapable and commoneties
I recan instead of judging fangoals
We can learn from them
We you'll e tomorrow
So why not love things
While we're still breathing
And we sthat i'd like to ask you all to try something with we can they get you all to stand up
Stand up
If you can stand up all right
So he's what's going to happen
I'm going to count to three
And when i'm finished
I'm going to ask every single one of you to let out your very best fan goal screen
Yeah
Here is why i am asking you to do this
Because if all five also thousands of you do this
And really commit we all get our first chance to hear that sound and to decide that
It is not a crazy sound
It is a hopeful sound
So should we do this
I said do we do this alright
Okay
Now i am going to cheat
And i'm not gona going full volume
Because i'm might
And we don't want to hear that
But it means you all have to go one hundred and ten percent you ready okay
Take a deep breath with me
Think of someone you love let's go one two three just sounded stunning and as sane and as intelligent and as dignified
As when you walked in this room
Thank you
