apartment (Explicit)

I remember in middle school

When the boys were changing in the locker room-

I looked the other way -

Forcibly to say... the least

I felt so nervous,

Being around all those boys and being around my own body

And when I was sixteen, people started to question me

'Cause I had never dated anybody

And I didn't want to admit anything - cause I didn't-

Understand myself - so I kept lying to myself

And I remember being told by the kids at school-

It's not ok

It's not ok

It doesn't sound normal

It's not ok

You're not ok

I shouldn't feel normal

I remember when I was seventeen- writing a twisted biography...

Of pages upon pages of confusion

And I was so upset - at myself

For taking three years to comprehend

And I had thought that I liked this girl but...

I only liked her cause I liked the same things as her

And I confused myself

Thank you, OCD for your help

you made it harder to know how I felt

And I didn't want to admit-

Anything - cause I didn't-

Understand myself -

So I kept lying to everyone

And I remember being told by my own hell

It's not ok

It's not ok

It doesn't sound normal, normal

I'm not ok

I'm not ok

I've never felt normal, normal

Oh Oh

It's so crazy

How I'd go back and forth

With my myself - I need help - in this psychopathic war

And Dad you never ****ing helped

Ma I don't need - therapy to see who I am oh

And now I'm twenty

At least at the time of recording this-

And I can proudly say

I am ok

I am ok

I'm different but normal