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What's your boyfriend? Mother****, we're doing it tonight, me and you. I don't give a shit. I'm going to be mad. I'm going to ****ing angry, because I'll tell you what. I'm mad at women right now.
My girlfriend kicked me the **** out of the house a few weeks ago. That sucks. I was homeless, man. Homeless. You ever been homeless for even a few minutes? Homeless sucks for anybody. But I'm fat. And when you're fat and homeless, it really sucks, because no one ****ing believes you.
I'd be out there begging like, please help sir, I'm so hungry. Like, shut the **** up. Are you kidding? What are you hungry for more? She kicked me out of her bullshit. She's making fun of her clothes. She kicked me the **** out.
Some bullshit at your boyfriend? What would he have to do for you to kick him the **** out? **** somebody else? Yeah, right? That's some real shit. He ****s him out as you kick him out. That's fine. I made fun of my girl's ****ing clothes.
She was wearing some funny shit. My girl was wearing a sleeveless turtleneck. That shit's funny. Gets a nice shirt, but doesn't make ****ing sense. You know what I mean? Turtlenecks are to keep warm last time I checked.
And all this **** was toasty as hell. Warm, sweaty, peaked. But her arms were ****ed up, like goosebumps and shiver like a wet chihuahuan shit. I was like, hey, nice shirt, stupid. Listen. After dinner, why don't we go to the mall and get you a nice pair of snow pants shorts to go with that outfit.
Then we'll throw on some open -toed snow boots to finish it off. You ****ing dummy. You're a dummy. What the **** is wrong with you? ****ing homeless. I gotta stay with my ****ing friends. Never stayed at a friend's house, fellas.
And if you do, stay with a single friend. Don't be hanging out with your friends when they got girl friends and **** living there, or wives and shit. I say to my buddy, his girlfriend and him live together, he let me stay for a few nights.
And that **** is uncomfortable. Because when a couple let you stay over, they don't want to **** in front of you. You know what I mean? Like when you're in the house, they feel awkward like you're going to hear and shit.
Oh, there are four nights. First two nights, they didn't do nothing. I was listening. They didn't do shit. I had the ****ing glass and all that shit. These *****es ain't doing nothing. ****ing fourth night, man.
They couldn't wait no more. I'm on the couch, bedroom's right there. Er -ee -er -ee -er -ee -er -ee -er -ee. Do -do -do -do -do -do -do -do. Er -ee -er -ee -er -ee -er. Oh, oh, oh, oh, ****. These two are ****ing right over my face.
