Hey Men

You said your phone just died again

Blamed it on Mercury in retrograde

Same old lines, rehearsed so well

Like you’re starring in your own cliché

That outfit screams “I don’t care,”

But baby, that took effort

You said “we’re done”? Oh, funny thing—

Didn’t know we ever started

Call it tragic, call it slow

Is it love or just a joke?

I’ve got a name for this kinda show—

Manchild

Why you always come a-runnin’ to me?

FML, let a grown-ass woman breathe

You don’t know what self-care means

Half your thoughts are still sixteen

Manchild

Why you always take the best of me?

Why so hot if you’re so dumb?

How’d you last this long, my love?

If I don’t do it, it won’t get done

Let’s just blame your mom (mm-hmm)

You text like you’ve never read

Ghost me, then show up in my bed

You’re the problem, and somehow still

You make me need meds

You play the fool, I play the nurse

Guess I signed up for the worst

But there’s a chorus and here’s the verse—

Manchild

Why you always come a-runnin’ to me?

FML, let an innocent woman be

Never heard of therapy

Still think “boundaries” is a drink

Manchild

Why you always come a-runnin’

Like I’m your emergency?

Oh, I like my boys playing hard to get

And I like my men all incompetent

And I swear they choose me—I don’t chase them

Can I get an Amen?

(Amen!)

Hey, men!

(Hey, men!)

Manchild

Why you always come a-runnin’ to me?

(always come a-runnin’ to me)

FML, let me sip my wine in peace

Oh, I like my boys a little bit dumb

And I like my men a little undone

But damn, it’s time for me to run—

A-MEN