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Lifeboat (On The Fritz Album Version) - Steve Taylor
Good morning
Class
Good morning Mrs Aryan
Today we're going to play a game
This game is called lifeboat
All together
Lifeboat
Good
Lifeboat is a lesson in values clarification
Can you say values clarification
No
Values clarification is where your little minds decide
Which lives are worth living and which lives are worth
Not living
Now here's how we play
A big ship just sank
There are five people on the lifeboat
But the lifeboat is only made for two
I'll list the five people on the chalkboard
And you
Class
Will decide
Which three will be thrown overboard
Are we ready
Yes
Mrs Aryan
Good
First
There's an old
Old crippled grandfather
Second
There's a mentally handicapped person in a wheelchair
What's mentally handicapped
It means they can never be a productive members of society
Third
There's an overweight woman on welfare
With a sniffling whimpering baby
Is the baby on welfare
Too
Let's not push Mrs Aryan
Else is in the boat
A young
White doctor with blue eyes and perfect teeth and joan collins
Now
Class
Take five minutes to make your decision
Times up
Well
Class
Throw over grandpa 'cause he's getting pretty old
Throw out the baby or we'll all be catching it's cold
Throw over fatty and we'll see if she can float
Throw out the retard and they won't be rockin' the boat
Very good
That was fun
Wasn't it
Yes
Mrs Aryan
For our next lesson
We're going to do an experiment
We're going to test the law of gravity
Just like galileo
By dropping two objects out the window
One heavy and one light
To test which one hits the sidewalk first
Now what shall we use for the lighter object
I'm thinking of something small and square
An eraser
Good and what shall we use for the heavy object
I'm thinking of something round and bouncy
Tommy
I haven't given you permission to leave your seat
Class
Class the bell has not rung
What are you
Class
Put me down
Class
Put me down this instant
What what are you
Throw over teacher and we'll see if she can bounce
We've learned our lesson teacher says perfection's what counts
She's getting old and gray and wears an ugly coat
Throw over teacher and we'll play another game of lifeboat
Throw over grandpa 'cause he's getting pretty old
Throw out the baby or we'll all be catching it's cold
Throw over fatty and we'll see if she can float
Throw out the retard and they won't be rockin' the boat
