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This is it - KMurdock Music Group
If I only had the right words
The right rhyme at the right time
If I only had the right verse
I would tell you what's on my mind
We could talk about it and converse
But I've been tried and I ain't finna lie
Only makes the situation worse
And we both end up with our feelings hurt
Tryna make it work, but I'm feeling torn
When I tell you something, you ain't hearing nothing
Feels like I'm being ignored
But I don't wanna fuck up something that we built up brick by brick and board by board
And when he starts coming around and I bring him up
You just knock him down like some dominoes
I ain't falling though
Shame on me for letting you go and
Shame on you for simply not knowing what it takes to make relationships work
I did everything to make this shit work
But you never wanted anything to do with any other fucking people that I'm cool with
Family functions have always been something that you would try to stay away from and that's fine
But the whole time I felt like I've been living a double life
Talk to you about it, end up in a fight
Try to push it down like everything's alright
But it ain't right
How you throw it in my face every time you have to go someplace
Cause of me, all because of me
This ain't healthy, and I finally see that
This is it
This is the final round
You wonder what happened
But I ain't gonna spell it out
You'll be just fine without me in your life
Me in your bed
You'll have to make do with memories instead
And you can talk all you want how you're mad at me
But you ain't even get to know my family
I kept a calendar, chances you canceled and vanished on
Dinner with my family, tithed, then trafficked, then had to run
Every time I planned it, you panned it, then act like I'm nagging, hun
Say it to many faces, but baby, it's only my fam enough
You want a private planet, no cousins, no laughing, no clattering pans
But life ain't a quiet cabin, it's messy, it's multiple hands
You said I'm moving and crying like a storm, you can't stand the cold
But I'm caught by Sunday chatter and cookouts and battle rooms
You told me boundaries, I heard barriers, barricades, keep 'em out
You call it peace, I call it distance with prettier filter sound
We try to stitch it together, the thread kept snagging on smaller lies
You hate the mirror I'm holding, I hate the version I'm stylized
And I ain't tryna win no prize for suffering quiet, playing nice
I gave you keys to half my life
You never used 'em, kept 'em ice
You love me best in solo scenes, no extras, no living ties
But love that dodges context always dries up
Always dies
This is it
This is the final round
You wonder what happened
But I ain't gonna spell it out
You'll be just fine without me in your life
Me in your bed
You'll have to make do with memories instead
And you can talk all you want how you're mad at me
But you ain't even get to know my family
Family
You pull up, stay in the car, texts come out, never set a foot in
I'm on the porch explaining why you busy, I'm covering cushion
Mama got plates keeping heat, your seat's open, name on a tag
You reply,"Maybe next week"
Next week turns vapor and ash
I'm doing acrobat math
Bending myself to half your ass
Split like a wishbone, every holiday I'm two people cracked
You want the love without lineage
Better doing without the village
I want the commitment with the picnic
The aunties' gossip and never mind children
You call it clingy, I call it roots
You call it chaos, I call it truth
You call me guilty for bringing proof
But every excuse is a different suit
Remember the phone on speaker?
People was clowning, you muted
You texted this noise is confusing
I texted this noise is my music
Some people joke, others come dominoes smacking the table
That's how we measure the day by the love that clatter, fuck the labels
I gave you layups to meet 'em
Birthdays, graduations, wakes
You gave me layovers, delays and a thousand, I need a break
So here's me finally stepping back from the puzzle that never fit
I ain't mad, I'm accurate
We different this end of it
This is it
This is the final round
You wonder what happened
But I ain't gonna spell it out
You'll be just fine without me in your life
Me in your bed
You'll have to make do with memories instead
And you can talk all you want how you're mad at me
But you ain't even get to know my family
Family
What's the point of explaining the laughter that built me, the stories that filled me
You don't have to love them like I do, but damn, at least try to fill me
Brick by brick and board by board
I won't beg you to cross that porch
If you can't step where my people live
Then step back
Let me deal with it
