Masculinity-London Theatre Orchestra & Cast
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Masculinity - London Theatre Orchestra & Cast

I want you to pick up

That piece of toast like a man!

Think of this as

Masculine toast and Masculine butter,

Ready for spreading by a Masculine hand.

Pick up that knife

And make believe it's a machete.

It'll take all your strength

And steady nerves

For hacking your way

Through the cherry preserves.

Think of John Wayne,

And Jean Paul Belmondo.

Think of the Legionnaires

And Charlemagne's men.

So like a stevedore you grab your cup

And if God forbid that your pinky pops up,

You can climb back up the mountain once again.

Listen to that

About that voice of yours

Grunt like an ape and growl like a tiger

Give us a roaring,

Snorting masculine laugh

Try to remember that

John Wayne was not soprano

Try giving it rough and gruff and low.

Try more of John Wayne

And less Brigitte Bardodt

Think of De Gaulle and pick up Rasputin

Think like a Daniel marching into the den

While trying to join the burly brutes

If you forget that

Your nylons are under your boots

You can climb back up the mountain once again

Think Ghengis Kan

And think Taras Bulba

Think of Atilla's Huns

And Robin Hood's men

Try not to weaken or collapse

If they discover the petticoat under your chaps

You can climb back up the mountain once again

Woah, yeah

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