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Come all ye dryland sailyors
And listen to my song
For it's only forty verses
And it won't detain you long
It's all about the adventyures
Of this here lisburn tar
Who sailed as a man before
The mast on the good ship calabar
Now the calabar was a spanking craft
Copperfastened fore and aft
Her helm it stuck out far behind
And her wheel had a great big shaft
With half a gale to swell each sail
She'd make one knot per hour
She's the fastest craft on the lagan canal
And she's only one horsepower
Now the skipper he was a strapping lad
He stood just four feet two
His eyes were black his nose was red
And his cheeks were a prussian blue
He wore a leather medal
That he'd won at the crimea war
And the captain's wife
Was passenger cook on the good ship calabar
Now the skipper he says to me
Me lad look here me lad says he
Would yous like to be a sailyor
To sail the raging sea
Would yous like to be a sailyor
The foreign seas to roll
For we're under orders for portadown
With half a ton of coal
The next morning we set sail
The weather being sublime
And passing under the old queen's
Bridge we heard the albert chime
'Tis then we came to the gasworks straight
A very dangerous part
And ran head on to a lump of coal
That wasn't marked on the chart
Then all became confusion
While the stormy winds did blow
Our bo'sun slipped on an orange peel
And fell into the hold below
Put on more steam the captain cry
For we are sorely pressed
But the engineer replied from the bank
The horse is doing his best
And we all fell into the water
And then let out a roar
There was a farmer standing there
And he threw us the end of his galluses
And he pulled it all ashore
No more I'll be a sailyor
To sail the raging main
And the next time I go to portadown
I'm bloody sure I'll go by train
Cruise Of The Calabar - David Hammond