Football Song-Matt Fishel
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Football Song - Matt Fishel

I'm sitting on the back of the football bus

All the lads are wearing shorts and shin pads

Talkin' 'bout the game they're gonna win this afternoon

And all this display of masculinity well

It's making me feel a bit nauseous

So I close my eyes and I pray it'll be over soon

Now I have never functioned well at a competitive sport

I just can't find the fun

And besides I'm far too paranoid about the way

I look when I run when I run

When I do to run

So I sit here combing my hair

Trying my hardest not to stare

But it's getting cold out

Then the whistle blows

I will never be captain but I will be king

And I'm gonna achieve the most wonderful things

That don't involve playing football in the rain

I will never be one of the lads in the team

But I'll conquer the system and fight for my dreams

And I don't know if I could ever win but

I'm gonna be the best there's ever been

Now Johnny is the head of our football team

He always boasts to his friends about women

I wonder if he'd carry on that way

If I told them all the places we'd been in

And Johnny struts around on the football pitch

With an arrogant smirk on his face

But he wears a smile of a different kind

When he comes to stay over at my place

And I'll sit there combing my hair

While he's taking off his underwear

And it's getting warmer

'Til the whistle blows

And Johnny is captain and Johnny is king

And his parents are hoping for wonderful things

That don't involve him screwing 'round with me

They don't want him screwing 'round with me

And Johnny's the best looking lad on the team

All the guys want to be him he's every girl's dream

And no I don't think I will ever win but

I'm gonna be the best there's ever been

I'm sitting on the back of the football bus

And I wonder will it ever change

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