Soldier (Explicit)

This shit hurts even more when they’re the one who’s closest

And I’ve worked so hard on God I been devoted

And I stood ten toes because I been a soldier

All these problems need answers I pray that God decodes it

I swear I’m stuck in my ways I’m tryna break the molding

They want my prayers but when I cry I don’t have a shoulder

I’m sorry mom but the streets taught me to be a soldier

I pray to God to hear him speak but never the voices

I’m tryna get better so I stay away

Signed a deal to Empire didn’t take the pain away

My family still fucked up praying for better days

My homie gang banging hoping that it was just a phase

Eyes red gun in hand while we’re on the phone

Tears coming down my face man my nigga gone

Said haven’t ate in 2 days bro I’m bout to starve

Can’t judge him or go say he’s wrong

Cuz that was me a few years ago but now my nigga caught a charge

Cuz nobody loved him or accepted him with open arms

Nobody cared until my nigga was behind bars

Now my nigga scarred

And it's hurting my heart

I went past his room one day while he’s talking to Jesus

He said God come through and come and fix the pieces

Cuz God I rather fucking die don’t give me a reason

All these people around but nobody’s ever reaching

This shit hurts even more when they’re the one who’s closest

And I’ve worked so hard on God I been devoted

And I stood ten toes because I been a soldier

All these problems need answers I pray that God decodes it

I swear I’m stuck in my ways I’m tryna break the molding

They want my prayers but when I cry I don’t have a shoulder

I’m sorry mom but the streets taught me to be a soldier

I pray to God to hear him speak but never the voices

Everybody calling me 20 times a week

Cuz my peoples facing demons and they cannot sleep

But no one calls just to check on me

I need to vent too nigga I can listen but let me speak

A lot of questions need to run them answers

How the fuck you tell me to impact and then you give me cancer

No money for the bills so sis became a dancer

I’m not playing my nigga imma need those answers

They say wounds heal overtime

My friend was raped 2 years ago and now she’s out here fucking sniffling lines

She paid 5 racks for a nose job

And she’s charging $20 for a mother fucking blowjob

All this pressure on my back on God this like poison

God said in a dream Ash you need to know this

You going through this cuz I made you to be a soldier

You’re gonna reap your benefits it’s time to take over

This shit hurts even more when they’re the one who’s closest

And I’ve worked so hard on God I been devoted

And I stood ten toes because I been a soldier

All these problems need answers I pray that God decodes it

I swear I’m stuck in my ways I’m tryna break the molding

They want my prayers but when I cry I don’t have a shoulder

I’m sorry mom but the streets taught me to be a soldier

I pray to God to hear him speak but never the voices