Restless Memories - Niko Jarell
The room feels wider than before
Like something slipped out the door
A quiet hum inside my chest
Won't let my breathing rest
I settle down then shift again
Thoughts keep pacing in my head
Every place I try to land
Feels like borrowed ground
I slow the world
I dim the light
But my mind won't stay the night
Memories that won't sit still
They wander past my windowsill
I lay them down they rise instead
Circling what I never said
Days move forward nights resist
Every comfort feels slightly missed
Memories that won't sit just
Living loose inside of us
A low bass pulse beneath my skin
Holds the weight I'm keeping in
Air it tones like moving air
Drift through moments I can't spare
I've learned to pause to not react
Still the past won't stay intact
Every silence bends the same
Every rest still knows your name
I let go
More than I admit
But time won't teach my thoughts to sit
Memories that won't sit still
They wander past my windowsill
I lay them down they rise instead
Circling what I never said
Days move forward nights resist
Every comfort feels slightly missed
Memories that won't sit just
Living loose inside of us
If memory was meant to fade
Why does it walk the rooms it made
I'm not stuck I've only learned
Some thoughts don't wait their turn
Memories that won't sit down
I don't fight them now
The pain is soft it comes and goes
Like passing trains I never board
Piano fades I'm standing still
Not afraid of what I feel
Memories that won't sit okay
They don't know me anyway
Time didn't quiet them
But it taught me how to breathe
