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Hello
大家好
欢迎收听这一期双语版的英语冰美式
Welcome back to this episode of english iced maracano
我是乔治
我们学习英语
掌握词汇和语法相对还是简单的
只是花时间花精力而已
但是在语言背后的那些情感温度和文化内涵却不是一朝一夕能够体会到的
很多时候我们自以为说了一句很客气的话
但是在对方听来却是阴阳怪气
嗯
我前几天在看后台的数据
我们有一个app 给学员用的
呃
但是学员在和ai 对话的时候
模拟了一个酒店前台接待的这么一个场景
当看到客户很焦急哎
你应该怎么样去上前询问
有一个学员就非常自信的说了一句
What's your problem
嗯
我看到这个的时候心里咯噔了一下
因为从中文的思路来看
What's your problem
您有什么问题这句话太正常了
甚至充满了一种主动热情服务的感觉
我完全理解他为什么会这么写
但是呢
What's your problem 这句话在英语世界却是有实际的杀伤力的
他约等于指着对方的鼻子问
你有毛病吧你
或者你这个人是怎么回事啊
这是一句极具挑衅和不耐烦的话
你看
我们本来是善意
但是用了这句话就变成了冒犯
所以我想跟大家再聊一聊英语中那些看似人畜无害
实则暗藏玄机的表达
让我们一起来拆解这些礼貌的陷阱
学会更加得体的英语表达
我们就从这个最具有代表性的what's your problem 开始
在服务场景当中
如果我们真的想帮助别人
最标准最安全的说法应该是
How can i help you 我该如何帮助你
那如果我们想了解一下具体情况
我们可以说what seems to be the trouble
问题出在哪里呀
或者更加友善的一句话是
Is everything ok
一切还好吗
哎
用这样的话来开启对话
都会比what's your problem 好上一万倍
Gygyaye
我们再来看一种比较常见的关于催促的表达
我们想象一下一个场景
比如说我们的同事借了我们的电脑在处理一件很着急的事情
这个时候我们也需要用电脑了
我们就会去问
哎
你用好了没有啊
那这句话应该怎么说呢
很多人的第一反应可能是are you done
Have you finished
这些话翻译成中文都是你完成了吗
这起来好像没有问题
但是呢
这句话的潜台词是你怎么还没好
太慢了
给我快点
所以are you down
Have you finished 这种表达会给别人带来巨大的压力
我们如果要了解别人的进度而不是催促
我们可以换成how is it going
进展如何啊
这是一个非常友善的进度询问
How is it going
但如果确实有点着急
但是呢
我们又要保持我们的礼貌
可以说do you need more time
你还需要更多的时间吗
这也是一种委婉的提醒
相当于把选择权交给了对方
这个远比直接的说are you done
Have you finished 啊
比这些表达要礼貌得体的多
催促是容易得罪人的
但是有时候我们主动提供帮助
也可能说错话
也可能得罪人
比如最经典的can i help you
嗯
我能帮你吗
这几乎是每个英语学习者都背过的句子
但是在口语里边
它的使用场景非常微妙
如果我们是面带笑容的服务员
Can i help you 这句话当然没有什么太大的问题
可一旦语气稍微平淡或者严肃一点
那他听起来就像是一种质问
我前几期也跟大家说到
我有一次在停车场看到一辆车
很像我朋友的车
于是我就凑到车窗边看看里面到底是不是他
这时候车主摇下车窗
非常警惕的问can i help you
他那个表情和语气翻译过来就是你想干嘛
你有事儿吗
你谁呀
所以现在在服务行业标准的话术就不是can i help you
而是how can i help you
这个how 把重点从我能不能帮你哎这种带有审视意味的问句变成了我知道能帮你
现在只是我不知道用什么样的方式来帮你
展现出一个积极的姿态
Can i help you 这种有的时候还不一定是冒犯
但是下面这个what were you thinking
你看你当时在想什么
这个就是指责了
他的字面意思是你当时在想什么
What were you thinking 听起来好像是在好奇对方的想法
但实际上这句话往往是用在一个人
呃
做了一个极其愚蠢的决定以后
我们带着难以置信或者是愤怒的情绪去质问他
嗯
What were you thinking
你当时在想什么呀
怎么会犯这种低级错误
那如果真的是想询问别人的想法
我们应该问could you walk me through your thought process
你能带我回顾一下你的这个思考的过程吗
这才是有建设性的沟通
刚才我们说的询问
催促
提供帮助
都是可以在职场当中找到适用场景的
我们都要特别的注意
英语当中还有一些可能听起来像是赞美的表达也是有杀伤力的
比如说good for you
我为你感到高兴
这句话的含义完全取决于我们的语调
如果我们是真心的为朋友感到高兴
那必须用上扬的充满活力的语调说good for you
但是我们作为语言学习者
有的时候我们在说话的时候
大脑的cpu 啊
主要是在处理语法和词汇
很容易忽略掉语调的控制
甚至对面部表情的控制
有的时候就会用降调说出一句话good for you
那这句话意思就变了
就变成了你在炫耀什么呀
你有什么好了不起的
就变成这样了
所以呢
为了避免误会
我们真诚的赞美可以用that's wonderful news
I'm so happy for you
用这样的表达来替代会比较保险一些
下面这个表达
It's fine
没事儿
他
他真的不是没事儿的意思
就当别人跟我们道歉的时候
比如说一不小心踩了我们的脚
说oh
I'm sorry
如果我们面无表情的回一句it's fine
那绝对不是没有关系的意思
这种fine 是带有一种怨气的一种妥协
意思是其实我很介意
也很生气
但是呢
不想跟你多说了
这事就这么算了吧
呃
空气当中肯定是会弥漫着尴尬的
如果我们真正的要表达原谅
可以说啊
That's alright
No problem
Don't worry about it
这些才听起来更加的真诚
说到高级的语言技巧
我们就不得不提一下with all do respect 和no offfence but 这两个表达
他们的字面意思是恕我直言和没有冒犯的意思
听起来好像是给了对方尊重
但实际上任何一个母语者听到这句话
立刻在心里拉响警报
因为他知道接下来百分之一百是猛烈的反对和批评
这种先礼后兵的策略反而让人觉得不舒服
觉得我们是在阴阳怪气
所以不如直接说
I see your point
But i have a different perspective
啊
我明白你的观点
但是我有一个不同看法
或者是i understand where you are coming from
But have we considered a 拉不拉不拉
我理解您的出发点
Bi understand where you are coming from
但是我们有没有考虑过啊
什么什么 呃
这样的表达啊
会比较真诚一些
比all do respect no a fence 这样一种阴阳怪怪的表达要好得多
与这个类似的还有一个
呃
教科书级别的一个甩锅的句子
呃
叫i'm sorry 过你那么想啊
我真的感到抱歉
对对 薇
你注意他道歉的对象是你的感受
而不是在说我的行为
这等于在说我做的事没什么太大的问题
是你太敏感了哎
太多心了哎
才会这么想
所以呢
I'm sorry
You feel away
我对你这么想我感到很抱歉
这是把责任推给对方
而不是说真心的道歉
是的是的
真心的道歉
那就直接说i'm really sorry
I apologize 啊
这是一种真心的道歉
当然
我们在职场上面
呃
肯定是不能够轻易道歉的
因为一道歉就把责任揽到身上了嘛
呃
更建设性的一个步骤是直接把重点放在解决问题上面
How can i make this right
Let's solve this problem together
直接把注意力放在解决问题上面
更加建设性的事情
然后我们该是谁的问题谁来道歉
最后一个
我想分享一个
呃
在美国的南方比较常见的表达
呃
叫bless your heart
愿上帝保佑你的心灵
这句话听起来是多么善良的祝福啊
但是百分之九十九的情况下
它都是那种带有优越感的怜悯和讽刺
不是一个好话
比如说我穿了一件特别难看的衣服
我的朋友可能会跟我说
Oh Man
You 're wearing that shirt
Bless your heart
天哪
你居然穿这件衣服
愿上帝保佑你
那这个就是一个挖苦和讽刺了啊
这个表达我们就不要尝试使用了
了解一下就可以了
好了
我们今天分享了在英语当中极具迷惑性的表达
主要是这些表达翻译成中文以后问题不大
所以还是回到我们开篇所说的
我们学习语言不仅仅是词汇和语法的堆砌
更是对文化
情绪和人际关系的了解
那么语言交际的最终目的
不仅仅是说我把这个词汇和语法用对
更是为了要把话说到别人心里去
这才是交际的最终目的
嗯 当然了
犯错是语言学习的必经之路
今天分享这些内容也不是说让大家害怕的不敢开口了
恰恰相反
了解了这些文化差异
我们才能更有意识的去调整自己的表达
那好
请大家不要走开
接下来我们进入英语环节
我们的两位英语主播将就这个问题和大家进行更深入的探讨
Waet me make et you know
Wow
George really did a fantastic job setting that up
He really did some great examples
There of how you know
Even simple words can get complicated fast
Absolutely
It leads right into this whole area
Doesn't it because communication
Whait's just so much
More than vocabulary grammar
Totally what we mean can be like miles away from what we actually say exactly and that gap
That's where things can get tricky
That's pragmatics for you how context who were talking to a relationship
Ps
All of that shapes the aning ooh way beyond just the dictionary definition for sure
We're going to explore some of that now looking at these really common english phrases
That honestly can be pit false
Especially you're coming from a different language background or culture
Yeah
The idea to really unpacked them
Why do they cause confusion
What's the unspoken definsage you know
Basically helping you navigate those moments
Where the words say one thing did you get a completely different feeling
Precisely giving you the tools
Hopefully
Okay
Let's t's art
Art some foundtions tions
There's key idea pragmatic different feeling
嗯
What exactly is that
And why is it like a bigger deal
Then just making a grammar mistake great so pragmatic failure
Um
It's when you understand every single word
The grammaers fine
But you completely miss what the speaker intended you to understand in that specific situation
So it's not about the language itself with the social meaning
Exactly it's a social or contextual slip up not not linguisistic one it it matter hugely because the pragmatic failure can lead people to miss judge you pretty seriously also you might come across is rude may be uncooooperative even incompetient
And it's not because you mixed up your vers
It's because you didn't pick up on susubtle social situes in the language being used
That's a crucial difference
It's not what you know about the language
It's knowing what people do with it perfectly put and to get how people do things with language
We can lean on a few key concepts
One big one is graces
Cooperative principle
The basic idea is fine
是的是的是的
We generally assume people are trying to cooperate when they talk
Trying to make sense be understood
Even when they're arguing things inren't intuiit whooah yeah
Even ususuthethere's still an assumption
That 're trying commununate ate right grgreat said we follow these unwritten rules or maximums
Maximums like rules sort of yeah
There's quality given enough info
But not too much quality basically be truthful relations stick to the point be relevant in manner be clear not confusing or ambiguous okay
So we expect people to play by these rules
But isn't it when people break the rules that things get interesting
Yeah
Meaning wise exactly that's the clever part grace called this conversational implication
It's the meaning you get when a speaker deliberately and obviously breaks one of those rules
Obviously brekes it
Yeah
The listener sees the rule being broken
Assumes the speakers still trying to cooperate somehow and so they look for the hidden implied meaning that make sensener exwhy rurule was broken
Ah like that recommendation letter example can you walk us through that one
Oh Yeah
The classiicso imagine a professor writs a recommendation for mister xx
The whole letter to says mister axis attendance has been regular
That's it
That's it
Now the person reading exlied meilkills work eat ic you know easy good for the job
But only mentioning attendance
The professor is massively breaking the quanicrule not giving nearly enough information right
So the reader things okay
They're breaking the rule
Why the implication
The implication is the regular attending
This is only only good thing that prossssor can find to say then mister x must not be very qualified or capable
The meaning is in the silence
The omission
Wow
The silence speaks volumes there okay
So that covers implied meaning
What about the social side
The polite tenness stance right that takes us to polattness theory often linked with brown and levenincm
This helps explain why we often choose to be interrect
May be break a maxism to imply something
It's all about managing face
Face like the saving face exactly like that it's our public self image
We have positive face the desire to be liked approved of valued and negative face the desire for autonomy freedom not being imposed upon in normal conversations is just full of things that could threaten face right toally thethey're called face threatening x or fta
And have in order like neot the door threatens negative face your freedom
Threazing neideas bad ththatens spepotive tive ace your competence and make sense
And how serious that threatfeels depensisisomething like power
Who has more status distance are use strangers or best friends and rank
How big given in position is this request or comment in this particular culture
So lightless strategies are basically ways to christian the blow to reduce the threat of these fta offered by being indirect you got it
And linking back to pragmatic failure
Jane thomas made a useful distinction between two types
First pragmal linguistic failure
Okay
This is basically misunderstanding the language tools themselves the specific words or structures used to create a pragmatic effect
Often happens when you transfer rules from your first language like that chinese greeting example perfect one literally have you eaten in chinese
It's like saying how litera social gasant tree right
But if you translate it literally
But if a english speaker have you eaten as a standard greeting the likely be confused from your first literally
That's pragmal linguistic failure
This is basically missocial inction that phrasdozn't english misunderstanding the tool
Okay
What's the other type es social pragistic failure
This is deeper
It's about misjudging the social context itself those variables like power distance rank based on your own cultural norms the language
Itself might be perfect
But the act of saying it is inappropriate in the example for that was asking about salary spot on how much money do you make grammatically flalous english no ragnant linguistic problem
There but but in many wewestal culture faking that eespecially aa new colleague
Where their social distance is a huge rank in position
It violates privacy norms
Asking it is a major associal pragmatic failure
A social misstep not a language error
Got it 是的
So putting it all together
There's a potential face threat ft a so the speaker uses polghtness
Often being indirect
Which breaks aggression maxim creating an implied meananimimicature pragmatic failure is when you mess up
Understanding either the language tool used for that pragmulinguistic
Or you misjudge the cultural appropriateness of doing it that way in the first place social pragmatic leactly it's a chain and a break
Anywhere leads to trouble liftive into some specific phrases
Then once that cause these kinds of problems
First up things that look like questions
But really aren't
They're more like confrontations
Uh whayour problem
Problem
What were you thinking
Oh Yes
Classic rheorical al questhey're not genuinely asking for information about your problem or thoughts definitely not
是的 对的
Their function pragmatically is to slam down an accusation or strong disapproval
They're breaking the maxim of quality
Rathere are not truthful questions absolutely
And the implicature is loud and clear
What's your problem really means you're acting badly or irrationally
And what are you thinking means that was incredibly stupid or thoughtless ouch
嗯
How do they fit with polite tenness in face
These are what brown eleleicson call bwled on record fta zero attempt to soften the blow low
Their direct hit on your positive face
You need to be seen as reasonable competent
And if you answered them literance
You've completely missed the agleresance
Which is easy to do
If your culture avoid such directness
If you feel really aggressive
Plus they grab control of the conversation using a questions disguise
It deliver a harsh critique
What about things like argued done yet
Or that really sharp one in your point is singles les papatience
Oh Yeah
Definitely imppatients are you done yet
That little word yet carries the way
Imlying it's taking too long for the speaker's laking
And in your point is feels even harsher much harsher it's not a neutral request for clarity
It's aggressive
It implies your ramblling irrelevant taking too much time
And the speaker has lost patients entirely
So the breaking rules like manner may be cuarture or relation
Relevance could be argued
Yeah
The clear implication call in your point is is basically stop talking
This isn't valuable
I'm board primarily these hit your negative face
Your freedom to speak or actuto your own pace
But in your point is also lends a solid punch on positive face devaluing your contribution
So for you listening the danger is understanding the words
But missing the intense of rudeness
That's pragmlinginguistic failure or maybe worth hearing them thinful y're okay
And using them yourself self appropriate tely should be asassociate pragmatic failure causing real offence without meaning to simple words
Powerful social impact okay
Next category
This was fascinating phrases
It's sound neutral maybe even positive
But are often loaded with negativity depends a lot on tone in context
Yes
The territory of pass of aggression
Think it's fine
Or whatever you want or whatever you think is best
So it's fine
Especially when steve with that flat tone or a side textbook
These deliberately break the maximum of quality
You say fine
When it is absolutely not fine
You're being untruthfrom them surface precisely to signal displeure
Maybe anger
But without having it open conflict so the words say yes
But the feeling is it definite
Now exactly the pragmatic meaning is disapproval unhappiness on the surface
It looks like polghtness
Like difference whatever you want but used passive aggressively it's an off record ft a it's suddenly attacks a listeners
Positive face by implying theare the being
Being a reasonable forcing this reluctant agreement creates this awful lose loose feeling and the big risk for you is taking it literally pregnant inguistic failure again
And then being totally blinsided later ter
When the crutment bubbles up like be said it was fine
Especially tricicy and tex right right memesasaing ing absolutely text reremove tone one the facius expression
Yeah
All those crucial pragmatic laues makes these phraastic land mines
What about good for you
Or you know the famous blessyour heart
It seem to swing both with hugely ambigus arcty
And it's most entirely down to procedy tone expression exsituation good for you can be genuine warm praise
Or it can be rupping with sarcastic dismissal
And bless your heart especially in the american south is the ultimtic mila sincere sympathy or a sugar way of saying you're an idiot or absotiful
So the carcastic version is again breaking the quality maxim m ying
The opoppotic of what's man correct the sarcastic tic iniccture is the literal meaning flipped that's not good or your knife of lue is and lucky
It's a direct hit on positive face competence judgment
But wrapped in a seemingly polite show
And the key thing here is plalauble nice comiability
Uh they can pretend
They meant it nicely
Exactly they can retreat to the literal meaning claim innocence which can feel a gasstic
And you can can prett sarcasm the risk here seems huge you could miss the sarcasm completely preragal inquistic fail
Or maybe you become too cynical and read sarcasm into a genuinely nice comeagain again superhard and writing you really have to tune into all the available quees
And it's worth distinguishing passive aggression is often about withdraw making someone feel guilty leader sarcasm is more like availed engagement
Maybe ascertain superiority or mocery
Let's shift to another word category things that use polattness formulas but actually deliver insults or shift blame like a preragmaic contradiction
Right like with all do respect or no offence
But the universal signs that offence is definitely coming
Pretty much
There are establish signals in english
That in fta is about to happen usually disagreement or criticism
It's like waving a flaging warning face thread ahead that phrase with all due respect can feel particularcutting candidate
嗯
Like the do eimplies very little respect is actually old
Can yes the the implication can be quite sharp
So they signal impolghtness is coming
But do they actually lessen the emploghess often quite the opposite
Because everyone knows they preface criticism
They often fail as real polghtness
They just brrace the listener for impact
And can sometimes make the following statement feel even ruder
So the danger for you is learning these as polite disagreement phrases using them thinking your 're being respetful
But actually signalling more aggression than you intend preragmail enggliistic misunderstanding leading to a sociopragmatic blunder der a perfect example
Needing to know know phrase's real world function not just it's structure
Yeah
And then the big one i'm sorry
You feel that way ah the king of not apologies
It uses the form of an apology
I'm sorry
But does the exact opposite pragmatically
Which is it rejects all responsibility for the other person's feelings
It shifts the blame entirely onto their emotional reaction
It basically says your feelings are the problem here not my actions
It invalidates their experience often not in compleicity definitely fits the pattern
It's a major fta against positive face
It denies the legitimacy of their feelings
And fails the basic requirements of a real apology acknowledging harm taking some responsibility
And if your own language background has similar phrases that are genuinely sympathetic
You could easily mistake it for sincerity
It shistakes pregmal inguuistic failure accepting this nonapology just lets the real issue feilure
It's a priate case of weapizing pollighess
Using the shape of courtesy to be dismissive or hurtful
The offence is doubled
The message itself plus the cynical misuse of the polytenness form
It really shows the complexity
It is not in conflictions
Situation is it even mundane stuff like in shops
Your clinics absolutely think about the difference between can i help you and how can i help you
They seem pretty close on the surface
Yeah
But pragmatically they can work differently can i help you as a yes no question
Often it's genuine
But sometimes especially with a flat tone
It can act like a slight challenge
Like state your business
Ah
Which is why i am just browsinging to the common reply
Exactly it's a polite way to deflect that potential challenge
Now how can i help you is openended
It assumes you need help and ask ks kind
So so it start ts different
Different place right it presupposes in need framing the interaction as more welcoming more service oriented from the geck go so occur
Can i help you might feel like a small fta and interuption
Maybe even suspicion
嗯
While how can i help you feels more like positive plghtness
Showing interest and assuming
Need precisely the risk is missing the potential coolness
And can i help you or if you're in service using it with an intonation that sounds unintentionally abrupor suspicious
It really comes down to that pragmatic prece opposition
If help is needed
Veris what help is needed tiny words is social diffedifference it hmmerers home that effective communication is so much about understanding the social action behind the words so wrapping this up the big takeaway is
嗯
Give these pragmatic layers is just crucial for communicating well smoothing things over building better connections
It's always this inner play of words
Contact social rules and hopefully walking to these examples
Gives you better handle on decoding those unspoken messages that are flying ying around constantly in english
Kay so based on all this what is some practical things you can do
Actionable take ways well definitely focus on learning pragmatics
Explplicitly
还不薇
Don't just do grammar in voke cab develop that met a pragmatic awareness
Always ask yourself
What is the speaker doing with these words right now
And obviously pay super close attention to tone expression on langually critically for things like sarcasm more psive aggression
Absolutely critical those non verbal cues are often the key also practice active listening also practice the intent behind the words
And maybe adopt a principle of charity and sounds odd or rude
Maybe assume a pragmatic misunderstanding first not bad intentions
Good point and being aware of your own styles
If you're very direct
How might that land
And finally just ask if something feels ambiguous
Especially these tricky phrases find a neutral way to clarify just why understand did you mean for something all really good strategies for becoming more pragmatically competent
Now thinking about how much these meanings rely on tone intext non verbals
It does raise a final big question for you to consider what about purely text base communication
Even memessaging socimemedia well all excuse are
Are missing exactly what challenges does that present for avoiding pragmatic failure
How should everything we discussed change the way we interact online
When often the words are literally all you have so me to think about
