Martha May (Explicit)

I hate Christmas

The whole Christmas season

I'll tell you why

It's for obvious reasons

The Whos of Whoville

The girls and the fellas

Were nasty, were basic

Were ugly and jealous

They said you're green

And you're greasy

Your vibe is unnerving

But I didn't listen

I was too busy serving

They say I'm too loud

To crass, too ambitious

Well I'll show you loud

I'll show all of you *****es

And I pondered

And pondered

I came up with a plot

I'd read them to filth

And I'd leave them to rot

And I pondered

And I pondered

I came up with a plan

I'll steal your turkey

Then I'll steal your man

Merry Christmas Martha May

Someone call Santa

Cause I've stolen his sleigh

Holy infant, tender and mild

Eighty five pounds

I'll pour juice on your child

I'll snatch your tree

I'll snatch your wig

I'll snatch your baubles

Your Christmas wish

Is that I was with you

I'll snatch your tree

I'll snatch your wig

I'll snatch your baubles

Your Christmas wish

Is that I was with you

And I slithered and slunk

With a smile most unpleasant

Around the whole town

Yes I took every present!

And that fine musty odour

I couldn't miss

I sank to the sewers

And drank all the piss

And I packed up their presents!

The ribbons! The wrappings!

The tags! And the tinsel!

The trimmings! The trappings!

Three thousand feet Up

The side of Mt. Crumpit

I rode with my load

To the tiptop to dump it!

Merry Christmas Girls and Boys

Enjoy your lump of coal

Because I've stolen your toys

Merry Christmas Mr Mayor

Someone call a barber

Because I've shaved off his hair

I'll snatch your tree

I'll snatch your wig

I'll snatch your baubles

Your Christmas wish

Is that I was with you

I'll snatch your tree

I'll snatch your wig

I'll snatch your baubles

Your Christmas wish

Is that I was with you

And I stared down at Whoville!

Yes I popped my eyes!

I was shook!

What I saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Who down in Whoville

The tall lol l

Was singing!

Without any presents at all!

And I puzzled and I puzzled

Til my puzzler was sore

Maybe Christmas I thought

Doesn't come in a store

I puzzled and puzzled

And I puzzled some more

Maybe Christmas I thought

Is something more

Merry Christmas Martha May

Someone call Santa

Cause I've stolen his sleigh

Holy Infant tender and mild

£85 I'll pour juice on your child

I'll snatch your tree

I'll snatch your wig

I'll snatch your baubles

Your Christmas wish

Is that I was with you

I'll snatch your tree

I'll snatch your wig

I'll snatch your baubles

Your Christmas wish

Is that I was with you