Well, out in the country, we didn’t have mortuaries, and so it was always customary
for the undertaker to do his job and lay your kin out right there at home. Yeah, the church would loan you foldin’ chairs and you’d have visitation and everything right there. But when the night time come you’d have to sit up with the dead ‘cause it wasn’t right to leave ‘em alone.
Well, the last time I sat up was ’65 when my old arthritic Uncle Fred died. He was 97, so stooped over the mortician couldn’t straighten him out. They used a loggin’ chain to hold him down. Covered that all up with a cape and a gown and didn’t tell nobody in the family ‘cause that’s the kinda stuff folks just don’t wanta know about.
Well, we were all sittin’ there, it was three in the mornin’
And then there come up a cloud of thunder, lightnin’ and stormin’
Well, that lightnin’ flashed and that thunder clapped,
And that chain’ round old Uncle Fred went snap
It rattled and fell to the floor with a thump, and Uncle Fred just sat right up
(Yow!)
And I ain’t sittin’ up with the dead no more
I don’t know ‘bout you
No, I ain’t sittin’ up with the dead no more
No matter what you say or do
They say the dead can’t hurt ya
‘Cause they already left
But what they left can sure make you hurt yourself
And I ain’t sittin’ up with the dead no more
Since the dead started sittin’ up too
Lawd, have mercy
Well, when Uncle Fred sat up, so did everyone there. And there came a great partin’
of the foldin’ chairs and that preacher nearly knocked me down. He said, “Oh, I’m headin’ out that kitchen door”. I hollered, “Rev, that kitchen ain’t got no door in it”. He said, “Don’t worry, son, it will have in a minute”.
And I ain’t never seen so much jumpin’ and shovin’ before
And then somebody stepped on the old cat’s tail. He let out a scream, a screech, a
wail and to say the least, that howl didn’t help to calm the situation down. And then that lightnin’ flashed and that house went black and I spoke to my feets, I said, “Boys, make tracks”. And I went through that screen door Lickity split for town.
Well, I cut through the cemetery, fell in a hole
It was Uncle Fred’s grave, and it was dark and cold
Yeah, the town drunk dug it and he dug it too deep
And unbeknownst to me, he’s still in there asleep
And I’m scratchin’ and jumpin’, tryin’ to get out of that hole,
And he woke up and said,
“You might as well come over here and sit down beside me boy,
‘Cause you ain’t getting’ out of here tonight”
But I did!
And I ain’t sittin’ up with the dead no more
I don’t know ‘bout you
No, I ain’t sittin’ up with the dead no more
No matter what you say or do
They say the dead can’t hurt ya
‘Cause they already left
But what they left can sure make you hurt yourself
And I ain’t sittin’ up with the dead no more
Since the dead started sittin’ up too
Wadn’t no sense in nobody sittin’ up with Uncle Fred anyhow
Uncle Fred’s done be gonna set up with his own self. Next time, I’m just gonna
send flowers. Yeah...
