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Jack Vs. Jose - Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers
Well I stepped off the bus in Memphis
And stumbled into the first saloon I could find
I bellied-up to the rail and summoned my barkeep
I ordered up tequila some salt and a lime
And she said
Son you ain't from around here is you
And I said politely
No no ma'am I ain't
She said Sonny
Let me give you a little bit of friendly Southern advice
We don't use that junk around here for nothing 'cept well maybe
Thinning out paint
And she said Son
Why don't you just take a look around
And tell me what you see
Well I saw a lot of white-felt Stetson hats and gatorskin boots
You know and every Southern man
Who had a lady on his arm was drinking whiskey
So I said I do not wish to be out of order ma'am
I am not a tramp or a bum
The dusty Mexican borderlands
Are where I have just come from
And with all due respect and deference
Tequila is my preference
So she said Relax honey
You know I would never treat you wrong
And then she poured me up 3 fingers of that old number 7
She said Rest assured darlin'
If we're drinkin' it down here in Dixie
That's cause that's what they're pourin' up in heaven
And I said Ma'am your hospitality is well intentioned
Yes I know you mean to treat me well
It's just that where I come from
Born and raised in Arizona don't you know
Me and my friends be more likely to be found drinking
What they serve down in hell
And she said Son
Why don't you just take a look around
And tell me what you see
Well I saw a lot of furrowed brows
Under them white-felt Stetson hats
And every Southern man who had a lady on his arm
Was looking kinda angry
So I said I do not wish to be out of order gents
I am not a tramp or a bum
The dusty Mexican borderlands
Are where I have just come from
And with all due respect and deference
Tequila is my preference
So she said Hey look you little polecat
You better knock that whiskey back
Before us Southern folks get angry
We come and skin you to the bone
And I ain't exactly sure how that old saying goes
Boy but I do know it underscores the fact
You best be drinking what the Romans drink
When you're drinking down in Rome
And I said Ma'am
I can see that you just do not understand
And I've been trying to get a proper drink
Out of this bar now the WHOLE DAMN NIGHT
So kindly set me up that tequila honey
And let me get it into my blood
And I will take you and your whiskey-sipping
Southern boys up on that there fight
And she said Son
Why don't you just take yourself a look around
And tell me what you see
Well I saw a lot of grinding teeth
And I saw a lot of clinching fists out there
And every Southern man who once was over there
Sitting at the bar was up and coming after me
So I said I do not wish to be out of order here gentlemen
I am not a tramp and I am not a bum
The dusty Mexican borderlands
Are where I have just come from
And with all due respect and deference
Yeah with all due respect and deference
With all due respect and deference
Gentlemen kindly do not throw me out a** backwards
For hankerin' for a less-civilized spirit
Why don't I just mosey on along
And find my tequila on my way back west
A Dios rogando y con el mazo dando Katie bar
The door pass the gunpowder and praise the Lord
And as I make haste yet slowly to mis amigos you
May deem lowly and unholy
I will tell them what I've learned
Though I've been gulagged
And I've been spurned
Si a Roma fueres haz como vieres
Or when in Rome do as the Romans do
But memphis why not try something new
And when the barbarians arrive here
At your gate treat us not
With fear and hate for we come not to conquer
Or be rude but to raise a glass and say Salúd
