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Paranormal Helpdesk - The PDX Broadsides
Composed by:Christian Allen Lipski/Hollyanna McCollom/Jessica Faith Hebert
All night long until the break of dawn
We'll take your calls and caterwauls
About strange bloodstains on your walls
Don't be scared we are well prepared
We're your paranormal helpdesk
Thank you for calling supernatural support
You're having trouble with demonic possession
Try throwing a virgin in a volcano
If that resolved your problem my last name is McCollom
And I hope that you'll fill out a short survey
Thank you for calling supernatural support
You're through to troubleshooting for vamps and incubi
Try shoving a pointed stake into it's heart
If all he does is moan at
Least now he'll leave you alone
I hope I have been of some help today
All night long until the break of dawn
We'll take your calls and caterwauls
About strange bloodstains on your walls
Don't be scared we are well prepared
We're your paranormal helpdesk
Thank you for calling supernatural support
No I'm afraid your policy won't cover that
Angry hordes of angels are an act of God
If they can't be placated it's time you relocated
I'll connect you to our department of priests
Thank you for calling supernatural support
I see here on my screen your number has been flagged
Twilight is just fiction it's an awful book
Edward isn't real I just don't see the appeal
Of a stalker vamp watching while you sleep
All night long until the break of dawn
We'll take your calls and caterwauls
About strange bloodstains on your walls
Don't be scared we are well prepared
All night long until the break of dawn
We'll talk you down about the clown
Who's in your kitchen with a knife
Don't be scared we are well prepared
You've reached the paranormal helpdesk