Can't Adult Today

Wore my pajamas to the store today

Judge me if you want, I'm okay

Alarm went off, hit snooze fifteen times

Being awake should not be a crime

Breakfast? Leftover pizza

From last night

Brushed my teeth with the wrong hand

That's not right

Put my shirt on inside out, didn't care

Adult mode is broken

Handle with prayer

Coffee machine's too hard to figure out

Guess I'll just pout

Can't adult today, nope not today

Gonna eat cereal and call it gourmet

Can't adult today, my brain said no

Gonna watch cartoons

And let my feelings show

Why's being grown-up so exhausting?

(I quit, I'm done, no more bossing)

Tried to do laundry

Turned my whites pink

Now my socks match my shirt

What do you think?

Called my mom to ask how to cook rice

She laughed at me

That wasn't very nice

Went to pay bills

Got distracted by memes

Adult life's harder than it seems

Microwave dinner sounds pretty good

Adulting's overrated, knock on wood

Can't adult today, nope not today

Gonna eat cereal and call it gourmet

Can't adult today, my brain said no

Gonna watch cartoons

And let my feelings show

Why's being grown-up so exhausting?

(I quit, I'm done, no more bossing)

Maybe tomorrow I'll try again

Maybe I'll adult like other grown men

But today I'm wearing my fuzzy socks

And hiding from responsibility's knocks

Sometimes you gotta

Give yourself a break

Even if other people think it's fake

Can't adult today, and that's okay

Sometimes you need

A mental health day

Can't adult today, but I'll try tomorrow

Today I'm just gonna

Wallow in my sorrow

Being grown-up can wait until later

(Right now I'm just a professional procrastinator)