If I Had A (Explicit)

If I had a dick it would be ten foot long

Everybody shook like

Oh, who's dong is that?

Surely not the girl in the back

With the little yellow beret

No that ain't what she packs

If I had a dick it would stand to attention

Erection, win the general election

Write the entire Shakespeare collection

Direct Citizen Kane and yeah did I mention?

If I had a dick it would be thick like a brick

I'd shove it down your throat til it's tickling your sick

Tall and pink your dick ugly

I wouldn't wear pants

I'd just swing it round in public

Enormous, Im a let the dick sing the chorus

You feel like home

Where I belong

You're where I been searching for

You feel like home

So I'm standing strong

And I love you

Yeah I love you baby

If I had a dick I would love it

I would shove it in your face

It would touch outer space

If I had a weiner

I would have to sit in the back of a limousine

With Tina

If I had a dick it would do magic tricks

I would get a hat for it

It would look fabulous

High end extravagance

Gow it's own gravitas

If I had a dick I'd keep it in a cabinet

Dick; the best dick

The best dick ever yeah the very best dick

If I had a dick you'd know about it

I would swing it round my head

I would kiss you with it's lips

You feel like home

Where I belong

You're where I been searching for

You feel like home

So I'm standing strong

And I love you

Yeah I love you baby