Golden Shards (Explicit)

I struggle being me cause being me means win or loose

And if I had to pick between the twos I know

I'd choose the option getting me attention medals trophies

Interviews that I'd dismiss cause I'd be focusing on views

I dislike the image people like to paint of me

They don't believe in pain but they don't see the pain

I'm hearing names I'm hearing stories none of those are mine

If I was someone else I could be dead but that's okay

I don't take those stories personal cause people talk

They're more amazed by other lives than theirs cause they've been caught

In systems praised by those who sleep aside of work

It's not about who I became but more about things I bought

I've been compared to those who want a different life than me

To those who like to stick to rules

They tell me dreams I have are dreams nothing to work towards

Now something makes me want to prove how nice the life is

I can see what would it be like making millions due

To business moves, a company I call my own

Stepping over competition do things people doubt me doing

Setting bars for something you've been blowing

I want my name to be a brand that people go to

To be respected by the ones I was a joke to

Work towards a future with a wife that I deserve

And be remembered by the ones I loved and those that I was close to

I've been hit by shit too many times to look away

There's only so much I ignore

I'm told that ignorance is bliss but I have crossed that line

And I don't know if I felt worse before

Or if anything got better it all still feels the same to me

I'm still in doubt and still believe that someone's out detaining me

From gaining what I look for but maybe that's myself

I find it hard to look for something else but clocks

That could be waking me

Cause everything feels pointless

It's hard to find my reason

I tell myself I want the cash cause people say that's decent

I pretend that I'm authentic and do my best to show that

Truth is choices are I'm just as fake as those who know that