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Let's meet contestant number one
He's a skitsofrantic
Serial killer clown
Who says
Woman love his sexy smile
Let's find out if his charm will work on sharon
Sharon
What's your question
Contestant number one
I believe first impressions last forever
So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
And have dinner with me and my family
Tell me what you would do to make
That first impression really stick
Let's see
Uh
Well
I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux
Ha
But I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your momma in the eye and tell her
F**k you
Hurry up b***h
I'm hungry
I smell spaghetti
I'd pinch her loopy a*s and tell her
Get the food ready
Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his f**king lips
It's dinner time
We hearing grace from your mother
I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister
I'll tell you this
You know for only 13
She got some big tits
After that
Your dad will try to jump again
And only this time
I'd put the forty to his chin
After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'd dry f**k her till I nut in my underwear
Now
Let's me contestant number two
He's a psychopathic
Deranged
Crackhead freak
Who works for the dark carnival
He says women call him stretch nuts
Sharon
Let's hear your question
I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two
If you fell in love with me
Exactly how would you let me know
First thing
I could never love you
You sound like a richie b***h
Yo
F**k you
But if I did
I'd probably show you that I care
By taking all these other motherf**kers outta here
I'd go through your phone book and whack em all
And find contestant number one and break his f**king jaw
What
Anyone who looked at you
Would have to pay
I'd be blowing f**king nuggets off all day
I'd grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist
Let em go
And watch em both spring up in your face
I'd sing love songs to you
The best I can
Get you naked
And hit it like a caveman
When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
I throw a little in your face and say
I'm just playing
As you spit it all out
I'd rub your back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your a*s crack
Well it sounds like contestant number two
Is just over flowing with sensitivity
Sharon
It's a touch choice so far
Sharon
Let's have your last question and
See which one is going to win the rights to your neden
Okay
If we were at a dance club
And you both noticed me at the
Same time
Tell me
How would you each get my attention
And what would
Your pick up line be
Well
Whoever's the smoothest wins
Okay
First I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can't believe how f**king fat you are
I'd tell that I like the way you make your titties shake
And if you lost a little weight
You'd look like rickie lake
F**k that
You'd be jocking me quick
I'd order you a drink and stir it with my d**k
And then to get your attention in the crowded place
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
Yeah
Freak with your nuts
Yo
That'll get her
Tell her that's she fat
Yeah
That'll work even better
Look
F**k you
I got a strong rap
S**t
You don't want contestant number two
He's mad whack
I walk into a bar and there he was
Standing up by a bucket
Eww
Trying to f**k it
It was a big f**king smelly
A*s farm llama
D**n dawg
How you gonna diss your momma
