Wishful Thinking (Explicit)

Hateful eyes staring back at me

They scream revulsion like I'm a ****ing disease

Self hate has completely consumed me

And it comes as no surprise

I think I want to die

Has my luck run out?

Haunted by these voices

I don't have any doubts

Now there's nothing left to hide

Sometimes I want to die

Get these ghosts out of my head

Get them out, get them out, get them out

Let me tell you something

About hating yourself

It brings with it a lifetime full of agony

Of broken promises and broken dreams

And you know what they say about misery

That ****ing cunt just loves her company

And no one could have predicted this

At twenty-eight my life's a god damn mess

Tried my best, tried to be stronger

I hope this bullshit doesn't last much longer

I never meant for you to see

The awful bit of darkness locked up inside of me

I buried it deep along with my fears

And promised not to let it out

After all these years

And I'd do anything to bring myself back to life

'Cause the whole time I wanted to die

All I ever wanted was to feel alive

Hateful eyes are staring back at me

They scream revulsion like I'm a ****ing disease

SelfHate has completely consumed me

And it comes as no surprise

I think I want to die

I am nothing

Nothing more than a common disease

Less than nothing

A ****ing parasite who's just dying to feel

I never meant for you to see

The awful bit of darkness locked up inside of me

I buried it deep along with my fears

And promised not to let it out

After all these years

And I'd do anything to bring myself back to life

'Cause the whole time I wanted to die

All I ever wanted was to feel alive