Four Yorkshiremen (Live At Drury Lane, London, UK / 1974)

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"Four Yorkshiremen"

The Players：

Michael Palin first Yorkshireman

Graham Chapman Second Yorkshireman

Terry Jones Third Yorkshireman

Eric Idle Fourth Yorkshireman

The Scene：

Four well dressed men are sitting together at a vacation resort

'Farewell to Thee' is played in the background on Hawaiian guitar

FiRST YORKSHIREMAN：

Aye very passable that very passable bit of risotto

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN：

Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselas eh Josiah

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN：

You're right there Obadiah

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN：

Who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Château de Chasselas eh

FiRST YORKSHIREMAN：

In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN：

A cup o' cold tea

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN：

Without milk or sugar

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN：

Or tea

FiRST YORKSHIREMAN：

In a cracked cup an' all

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN：

Oh we never had a cup We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN：

The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN：

But you know we were happy in those days though we were poor

FiRST YORKSHIREMAN：

Because we were poor My old Dad used to say to me"Money doesn't buy you happiness son"

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN：

Aye 'e was right

FiRST YORKSHIREMAN：

Aye 'e was

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN：

I was happier then and I had nothin' We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN：

House You were lucky to live in a house We used to live in one room all twenty six of us no furniture 'alf the floor was missing and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN：

Eh you were lucky to have a room We used to have to live in t' corridor

FiRST YORKSHIREMAN：

Oh we used to dream of livin' in a corridor Would ha' been a palace to us We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us House Huh

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN：

Well when I say 'house' it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin but it was a house to us

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN：

We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground we 'ad to go and live in a lake

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN：

You were lucky to have a lake There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t' shoebox in t' middle o' road

FiRST YORKSHIREMAN：

Cardboard box

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN：

Aye

FiRST YORKSHIREMAN：

You were lucky We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank We used to have to get up at six in the morning clean the paper bag eat a crust of stale bread go to work down t' mill fourteen hours a day week in week out for sixpence a week and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt

SECOND YORKSHIREMAN：

Luxury We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning clean the lake eat a handful of 'ot gravel work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month come home and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle if we were lucky

THIRD YORKSHIREMAN：

Well of course we had it tough We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue We had two bits of cold gravel worked twenty four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife

FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN：

Right I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed drink a cup of sulphuric acid work twenty nine hours a day down mill and pay mill owner for permission to come to work and when we got home our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah

FiRST YORKSHIREMAN：

And you try and tell the young people of today that they won't believe you

ALL：

They won't