I Wanted You To Stay

I was angry, I was broken

I was shouting at the sky

But beneath the burning hatred

Was a child asking why

I said things I didn’t mean

I pushed everything away..

But the truth beneath the fury is..

I only wanted You to stay

When the world walked out and left me

With no one by my side..

I searched the dark for any sign

That You were still alive..

’Cause I wanted You to stay

Even when I cursed Your name

I was bleeding in the shadows

Begging You to take the pain

I wanted You to stay

But You felt too far away..

And the anger wasn’t hatred

It was love in disarray

Every night I held the memories

Of the moments You felt near

But the silence grew between us

And it hardened into fear

If devotion looks like heartbreak

Then I’ve loved You all the way..

Through the fights and all the darkness

Through the nights I lost my faith

If You’re listening from a distance

If You hear me when I break..

Know the reason that I fought You

Was the love I couldn’t take..

’Cause I wanted You to stay

Even when I screamed in vain

All the anger was a heartbeat

Calling out Your holy name

I wanted You to stay

Even when I walked astray..

’Cause the truth beneath the hurting is

I still need You every day..

Maybe love can look like war

When the wound has grown too deep

Maybe faith can look like anger

When Your silence cuts too steep

But I wanted You to stay

Through the heartbreak, through the gray

And I’m sorry for the moments

When my fury turned to hate

I wanted You to stay

And I need You even now..

If You’re waiting in the distance

Please come back and show me how..