时间：2022-10-14
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作词 : Gregory Holgate
Do you love the sweet smell of industry in the morning?
Does terra firma fill you with terror, versus firm factory foundations?
Have you ever looked at mother nature's splendour and thought 'eugh...'.
We have brave Ficsit pioneers nobly shaving off the galaxy's superfluous greenery,
grinfing it down into the fine mulch progresss and refining it into pure ingots of profit.
And now you too can join them!
Welcome, To The Awesome Shop.
The planetes and the stars are new frontiers of revenue,
and our pioneers bring bargains factory direct to you.
Try not to be disheartened by the trees that we consume.
Call and place your orders of products from the Awesome Shop.
Violent violet boars on your iron ore?
Carnivorous critters crashing your caterium convetors?
Then do we have just the products for you!
Every planet features sweet resource veins that you can extract.
Sadly, selfish creatures then, of course make them their habitats.
We've got a brilliant new addition to your haverasck.
Thirty thousand volts of pure eviction in one handy pack.
Introducing the xeno-zapper,
just as soon as it leaves the wrapper.
Any nuisance beasts giving you any grief,
just give a brief zap and you'll see them scatter.
Is it cruel? Does it even matter?
Deep below, well, we need that matter.
It's a tool with a decent stagger,
but certain pests need a beefier splatter.
The xeno-basher is our premium offering,
guaranting to leave more than a few teeth wobbling.
When local zoology opposes remodelling,
we recommend them a deluxe clobbering.
Case in point!
This little bugger cleatly needs an excavation of his brain from his head.
Oh...He's Uh...
He's brought me a berry...
Nobody's ever brought me a berry before... (T ^ T)
Go on, get out of here!
The planetes and the stars are new frontiers of revenue.
It's one small step for industry one giant deal for you.
Leaving deep space carbon footprints in some giant freaking shoes.
Wake up babe, new ores just dropped.
Now stocked in the Awesome Shop.
'cause it's thirsty work conberting the fertile earth,
from worthless dirt to stuff for the twerps on earth to purchase.
So, what's a few birds in a furnace?
Slurp from your new coffee cup.
You've earned it.
Land that's not wastland stands wasted,
raze those plants and then replace with
plating plants, gas excavating.
Fracking plans are quite groundbreaking.
Flora and the fauna aren't important when there's more to sell.
Hack, even our chainsaw fuel is ground up alien tortoiseshells.
There's no need to focus on our one-sided war of the worlds.
Ripping up the rosebuds as we're plundering these ores n'wells.
Climate impact? Disregard it!
You' re under contract to farm it.
Our market share just can't be spared,
and you're got artifacts to harvest.
News from earth.
Widespread chaos.
There is no hope but all citizens to immediately harvest alien artifacts.
You must comply.
(!@$#@ WWW.LIZARDDOGGO.COM @#R!$)
You Must Comply!
!@@$#@%@#@%$@
YOU MUST COMPLY!!
The planetes and the stars are new frontiers of revenue,
and our pioneers bring bargains factory direct to you.
You've reached our complaints department.
You're three millionth in the queue.
Critics say we Oughta Stop!
But then who'd stock the Awesome Shop?
It's that blinking lizard dooggo again!
That's it. You were warned! (｀ー´)
I am gonna clobber you with...
He's brought me another present!
Look, I can't do it!
He's too cute!
It's a...
It's a barrel of nuclear waste...
Thanks little guy.
I could never be mad at you...
