Step right up the curtain's torn
Someone misplaced the happy horn
The ringmaster smiles with a borrowed grin
And bets you can't guess what crawled in
My coat has seven crooked seams
My pockets hold expired dreams
A little brass key a paper crown
And a map of the places they shut down
The pianist winks the floorboards bend
The waiter asks if death's my friend
I say"Only on alternate weeks—
He hates my jokes but loves my cheeks"
The velvet ropes are fraying
The painted horses stare
If you hear somebody praying
Tip your hat and leave it there
Welcome to the crooked parade
Where every promise comes pre-decayed
Laugh when the chandeliers fall through
The punchline might be aimed at you
Welcome darling take your seat
Mind the trapdoor beneath your feet
If the night bites call it romance—
Now everybody do the coffin dance
A duchess in a paper mask
Keeps asking questions no one asks
Her jeweled glove begins to twitch
She says the moon has made her rich
The drummer counts in seventeen
The accordion wheezes something mean
A clown explains the moral scene:
"Never trust a man in trousers green"
I tried behaving once before
They nailed my manners to the door
I tried to pray I tried to crawl
The choir charged admission at the hall
So raise a glass of something brown
To every king without a crown
The joke is sick the joke is true—
The fool onstage looks just like you
Welcome to the crooked parade
Where every promise comes pre-decayed
Laugh when the chandeliers fall through
The punchline might be aimed at you
Welcome darling take your seat
Mind the trapdoor beneath your feet
If the night bites call it romance—
Now everybody do the coffin dance
The curtain drops the house lights blink
The usher asks"Would you like a drink"
I bow to the dark then lose my hat—
If this is normal imagine that
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