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I'd like to find the guy
Who done me wrong
And stuck my faget arse up
On this Christmas tree
Who put the stump
In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump
Who took and jammed it
In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong
Who stood the wood
Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop
Who put the stick
Up my hipty-dipty-dip
Who was that man
He shoved it up my can
And left me stranded on this Christmas tree (Yeah )
When this angel heard
Chop-ba-ba-bop di-chop-ba-ba-bop
A dreadful fear went right into my heart
Those pine tree needles sting me
Ram-a-jam-a-ram-a-jammin' in my ding dong
You'll never know how much that smarts (Hooah )
So who put the stump
In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump
Who took and jammed it
In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong
Who stood the wood
Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop
Who put the stick
Up my hipty-dipty-dip
Who took that bush
And crammed it in my tush
He made this angel beg for mercy please (Yow )
Each night when I'm alone
Scratchity scratchity scratchity scratchity
Scratchity scratchity shoop
It sets my tiny bottom all aglow
And every time I wiggle
Slipty-din-de-din slipty-din-de-din
A little further in it goes (Ohhh/Yeah )
Rump-ba-bump-ba-bump
Ram-a-lam-a ding dong
Slipty-din-de-din
Poopity poopity shoop
Rump-ba-bump-ba-bump
Ram-a-lam-a ding dong
Slipty-din-de-din
