Bizarre Christmas Incident (Explicit) - Ben Folds
Written by：Ben Folds
Christmas Eve I didn't get much sleep
I kept hearing things
Heavy breathing from the chimney
Who could it be
In the morning
I couldn't believe my eyes
A whale of a corpe with a long white beard
Was dangling over the fire
Oh Santa he's a big fat f**k
Went down the chimney got his fat a** stuck
Oh honey call the lawyers fast
'Cause Mrs Clause is gonna sue my a**
Hey hey hey
I gotta tell you folks
He wasn't wearin' no clothes
He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil
From his back down to his toes
While I was talking to the cops outside
The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs
They hauled him away in a double wide
What a sad sad way to die
Hey hey hey
Santa he's a big fat f**k
Went down the chimney got his fat a** stuck
Oh honey call the lawyers fast
Mrs Claus is gonna sue our a**
