What A Waste (explicit Live From The Prince Edward Theatre, London / 2014)

Miss Saigon Soundtrack

Miscellaneous

What A Waste

(A street filled with vendors in Patpong in Bangkok, outside a sleazy

night-club called"Le Moulin Rouge" where the ENGINEER is doorman

and barker. Other DOORMEN compete with him for the attention of

crowds of TOURISTS.)

ENGINEER

check it out!

DOORMEN

girls! I got girls!

DOORMEN

gorgeous girls!

DOORMEN

very nice!

TOURISTS

hey, wow! Oh look! We gotta see!

DOORMEN

girls! I got girls!

DOORMEN

gorgeous girls!

DOORMEN

very nice!

TOURISTS

I'm glad my wife's not here with me!

ENGINEER

what a waste!

to pay for my keep

I'm rounding up sheep

to fleece here in Bangkok

I'm disgraced

I can't get ahead

there's nothing as dead

as peace here in Bangkok

ten cents an hour, that's all they pay

I'll have to swim to the USA

(to some TOURISTS)

if you're looking for fun

original sin

if you want to put out

then you gotta come in

(TOURISTS pass. He tries to make them take his leaflets.)

DOORMEN

girls! I got girls!

DOORMEN

gorgeous girls!

DOORMEN

very nice!

DOORMEN ENGINEER (to TOURISTS)

girls! gee, isn't Bangkok really neat?

I got girls! the things they're selling on the street

girls! fresh dog, if that's what you'd enjoy

worth the price a girl, or if you want a boy

DOORMEN and the ENGINEER

come, come to me

first drink is free

ENGINEER

(to two Japanese TOURISTS)

don't be a lump, you can hump

for a small extra fee

hump -"humpy, humpy"

ENGINEER

I'm depressed

for hustling amours

to Japanese tours

is no treat in Bangkok

I'm the best

but selling these runts

for sexual stunts

leaves me beat in Bangkok

ten cents an hour...

(The CLUB OWNER, the ENGINEER'S boss, passes.)

CLUB OWNER

you said you'd fill my place up - where are they?

ENGINEER

they're coming, Boss

CLUB OWNER

Just get to work, half-breed!

ENGINEER

...screw the Siamese

look how they're ripping off... refugees

(to another PASSER-BY)

ENGINEER

if you're looking for fun

original sin

if you want to put out

then you gotta come in

DOORMEN ENGINEER

girls! hey boys, don't stand around like wimps

I got girls! watch out, those guys, they're really pimps

girls! you want some thrills, come-on and grab it!

half the price! three girls, two gerbils, and a rabbit

DOORMEN

hey, come to me!

(unfolding folders of photos)

DOORMEN

look what you'll see!

ENGINEER

hey, that's a joke, mine blow smoke

for a small extra fee

VENDORS

come try the streets in every venue

with tricks, you'll pick from off the menu

ENGINEER TOURISTS

hey, Joe, try taking a little excursion

you'll all feel good from a little perversion oh yeah!

massage requiring total immersion oh wow!

some strange positions they say are Persian oh no!

ENGINEER

drinks are on me

first girl is free

what can I say? You get me

for a small extra fee!

(JOHN enters looking for KIM. The VENDORS surround him.)

ENGINEER

(handing a leaflet to John)

you want a girl sir? you'll like one of these

JOHN

you have a Kim here, can I see her please?

ENGINEER

you pick 'em well. . .

monsieur John, is that you?

JOHN

the Engineer!

Jesus Christ! you're here too

ENGINEER

of all my friends, you're the one that I miss

JOHN

I'm looking for Kim

ENGINEER

I love you so, you and your buddy Chris

JOHN

I'm here about him

Kim has a child born in...

BOTH

seventy-five

ENGINEER

I filled that out and it's you who arrive

you'll find the end of your quest here in our little dive

I'm impressed

American clerks, a system that works

there's really no other

JOHN

listen, spare me the gas

is there really a child?

ENGINEER

yes, we're blessed

and Kim's on a trip

for citizenship, and I am her brother

JOHN

you're her brother, my ass

come on, take me inside

ENGINEER

look Kim, who got our application

I said I'd bring us all salvation

KIM

oh my god! monsieur John!

yes, of course he sent you

JOHN

not in here, is there someplace near we could talk?

KIM

(to one of the customers)

Take your hands off! We're finished! Go find someone else!

JOHN

come with me, there's a lot I've got to say first

KIM

Chris is here! say he's here! oh my god, it's all true

ENGINEER

I suggest, whatever may be

you leave it to me

just play little mother

JOHN

what I need to find out

she can tell me alone

KIM

can you take me to Chris?

I can leave here right now

we've been here for so long

took this job to survive

one month at sea

I was sure we'd drown

but I thought about Chris

and we didn't go down

I've done terrible things

but we're safe and you're here

so perhaps all the gods

have begun to forgive

CLUB OWNER

did the gentleman order champagne?

ENGINEER

she was about to get it

CLUB OWNER

you better get back on the chain, or get out

KIM ENGINEER

monsieur John I'm so sick of that prick

quick before he gets wise

look at this let John look at your kid

come see love see the lids of his eyes

come see Chris let John have his surprise

ENGINEER

look Uncle Sam

how nice I am

I doing all this just for Tam

an American boy

(KIM brings JOHN to her room and shows him TAM)

KIM

look John, this is his son

don't they have the same the smile

he's been waiting for his father

for a long, long while