Tell it like it is
He gets up real early on his mornin' drive
Down to the office for his 9to 5
He drives a 94
2ton
Economy car
Loves to tell the local bands down at the bar that he's the critic
Yea
I can hook you up
I know everybody
In the business
He flunked junior high band he couldn't March in time
He tried to write a song once
He couldn't make it rhyme
He went two or three chords on a pawn shop guitar
He just never quite had what it took to be a star
So he's a critic
I work for the gazette man I got a real job
He did a 5star column on a band he never heard
He did a bluegrass review about an unkind word
He thought it was time to ask his boss for a raise
His boss said I can't even tell if anybody's even readin' your page
Yeah
So he thought
And he thought a little more
He caught a young hot star headin' into town
And then he hid behind his typewriter and gunned the boy down
Here come the letters
The e mails
The faxes
They raised him to 20000dollars after taxes
He's a happy critic
He's rollin in the dough
Man I could do this forever
This is easy everybody's readin' my column
Please don't tell my mom
That I write the music column for the gazette
She still thinks I play piano down at the cathouse
Let's get funky with this now boys
Play it on out
Come on shannon
There's ole biff jumpin' in
Is layin' it down
Come on shannon
Aww yea
My man steve
Man my fingers are gettin' tired
Y'all gonna have to hurry
This snappin' thing
Wearin' me out
Hello shannon
Guess he's on coffee break man
They're gonna love you 'cause they already love me
Yeah
It's the critic
