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喔耶耶耶
Welcome to the deep dish
We're to be exploring something today
Um that might just change the way
You think about your life
Oh
Really heh so give this it we're diving into this article
Cold your life is not a story
Why narrative tive inking hold you back
It's from psyche ideas okay interesting
And it basally asks like what if our love of stories you know those things we used to make sense of the world yeah
What if those stories are actually holding us back
Um i like it already right
It's like we all crave stories from one of were kids totally like bdtime stories
Fairy tales
Even just you know tell ling somesomething about our day yeah
We
We understand and world without them
Yeah And
And there's a reason for that think think like like phosopopers ers h like macintiarian goldia okay yeah
They talk about how narratitive are essential first to understand like our own actions
And even like what other people do it makes sense
We try to fit events into a story to figure them out
It's just natural
It is
And it's not just philosopy
Either like there's actual research ch that h yeah
So there's this educator carreal fox and she found it like kids as young as three years old
Wow are already using stories to understand their experiences
Greeis all that's crazy
Know know right
It makes you think about like much much of our world
View is shaped by narrarative like right from the very beginning
Yeah
It's kind of wild
When you think about it and this need for stories yeah
Totally sticks with us as adults too even if we don't always realize it right like i never thought about it that way yeah
Think about all the the les les we planned society a franpaarenimport each one comes with like all these expectations and narrative ves
It's true
Almost like we're given these private and scripts to fillow you're totally right
It is like we're constantly trying to fit into these existing narraraves
Yeah
Without even realizing exactly
But i'm thinking like could those narrative ves actually be limiting us
Like could they be stopping us from reaching our full potential
It's a great question
And it leads us right into the downsides of thinking in terms of narrative tive oay
So what are they well stories give us order and meaning sure
But they can also over simplify life
You know it's way more complex than that i see that like a good example is the whole life is a journey analogy
Oh Yeah
I bet you use that one totally guilty that one right
It's such a common way to think about life
But it can ask actually be a bit of a trap
Oh
Really how so we'll think about it this way
If we our
Our as a journey y some destination
You know
Yeah
We tend to focus only on certain events
The ones that fit neatly into that story
Like we might focus on achievements or milestones
Because they support that beyond journey metaphor
But then we might downplay or even completely ignore other experiences
That don't quite fit
Like we're editing out parts of our lives
That don't fit the narrative exactly
And it goes even deeper than that the article argues
That seeing ourselves as the main character in our own story all the time
对
We can have some pretty negative conspective owell we can lead to a very like nesenperperspecook
Well we can miss our actions affect others or not recognize how other characpe our experiences
Tick we have blunders on
Yeah
Exactly we get so focused on our own story that we miss the bigger picture
Let me so lot of ssenence right
But you know it can get even more real than that also imagine a kid who's always labeled naughty okay
They start to believe they're inherently bad or trouble some you know i see you to mean
And
And crecreates the ffilling propacy
Oah Wow
Yeah
Whether behavior starts to match the negative story
Y've been given that's a powerful example
Like the creories
We tell ourselves so the stories others tell about us so what limit some exactly they can shape our behavior without us even realizing it so what can we do about is there a way to break free from these narratives
Especially the harmful ones well that's where narartive tive ererapy comes okay so what's that
It's a type of therapy
That helps people recognize and challenge those stories that are holding them back
Also you acknowledge the power than narrative
But then you work to change it that's the idea
And it's actually really empowering
Also because it says hey
You have agency
You can shape your own ararrarait's not about just swapping a bad story for a good one
It's about about understanding how the those narrative ves came to be exploring different perspectives
And finding a more authentic way to see your experiences
That sounds really interesting and helpful
But the article hints that there's even more to it than just changing the narrative tive you're picking up on it
Thethere another layer were missing here
You're right
There is to get to that next level
We need to shift gears
And talk about perspective
Ok the article presents it as a more nuanced way of thinking compared to just narrative tive gatcha
But before we jump into that look at what happens
When we get two stuck in one narrative okay no good
And for that the article brings up this really fascinating example from john pal arter
Oh
Surery i'm intrigued tell me more
So he describes this cafe waiter
Who's completely embodiying the waiter a narrative
Like every gesture
Every inflection is so perfect
He's alplelike a caicicure
So he's really good at his job
He is
But surtery asks is that a good thing
He says this waiter is actually living in bad of ie
Okay
Now i'm really curious
What does that even mean
He saying the waiter isn't truly free
Because he's letting that narrative define him control his life
Wow
That's a powerful image yeah
But what does bad faith look like in a more everyday sense
We'll think about it
We all play different roles throughout our day yeah
Like you an employee parent friend right
But when we start believing that those rules are
Are that elth h
That's when we risk falling into bad fah
H
It's like we get trapped in narrative
And can't be be trtrue cells yeah
Ep how can totally see how that happened yeah
Right
So how do we break free from bad faith and those limiting narrarative yeah
All all years yedo wholl ararcha says
The key is to reject the idea that those narraraves are the only truth yeah
And to try try to ve ve authentically making choices
That mature values and who you really are
And such as blindly following a script
So it's about recognizing
That we have a choice in how we define ourselves
We're not just characters and someone else's story
But if we're not defined by these narrative ves
What is it
That shapes are understanding of the world
And where we fit in that's what perspective comes in the article suggests that focusing on perspective
Instead of narrative can be superfraying okay
But with you so far
Um but how is perspective different from narrative
But seem kind of similar
Think of it like this unnarrative as a story
Right it has a beginning middle in end
Yeah
It puts a structure on our stances
It to tititle all up
And
And need little packet like a movie with a plot
Exactly
Um but perspective more like a lens
You know okay
The lens you use to see the world is shapes
What you notice what you think is important
And how you interpret things okay
I'm starting to see the difference so unlike a fixed narrative tive
Perspective can change and grow
Exactly
And that's why it's so important understand perspective it helps us see that there are make us to interpret the same event that makes sense
Which can make us more empathetic and open to new possibility
I like that it's like instead of being stuck in one rigid story line
You can see things from different angles and appreciate the complexity okay
That's a great point
So if narrative tive can be limiting
How does this whole perspective thing help us in a practical way
Well let's think about a real life situation
Ye're probgine your dealing with some conflict at work okyeah
Ah if you're stustuck in a nartive tive
You're the victitiand your co worers ers the villain
Oh
It's going to be really hard to fix things right
Because you're only seeing it one way
Exactly you're probably not very open to hearing their side of the story makes sense
But if you shift your perspective ok try to understand the situation from there point of you
You might start to see things differently okay
You might realize there are things you didn't consider
Or that you played a part in the conflicict so insisider pointing fingers you're coming at it with more understanding and empathy
Exactly
And that makes it way more likely you'll find a solution
That works for everyone
That's a great point
And that's just one example
Or this perspective shift can be helpful in all parts of life right relationships
Careers are overall well being
It's like we're always being given chances to change our perspective
But we don't even realize it
Yeah
It's true
But how do we actually train ourselves to do that
It seems like a pretty big change
I agree it's like rewiring our brains
Well the article suggests we can actually learn a lot from poetry
Poetry okay
I'm listening specifically lyric poetry
Which often presents an experience or feeling without a traditional story structure
So instesteof of beginning mimidle le end
It is presents a feeling or an image
And lets you interpreted on your own
That's
It and that's where the power of perspective really shines
I see that the article uses this example of walas steven's poem thirteen ways of looking at a blackboard
It perfectly illustrates this idea
Each standa is a different perspective
Ves the the perspeackbods okay showing all these different ways
We experience and interpret the world
So instead of one fixed narrative
We get thirteen different ways to see the same simple image
Exactly
And we can apply that to our own lives
Also we can start paying attention to the different perspectives
We bring each each situokay ask ourselves are there other ways to see this
What am i missing what would it be like to see this from someone else's 's perspective
It's like trying on different lenses to see what we discover right
Each lens reveals something new
This great
But i do have a question
Walds empowering to change your perspective is there are a danger and having too many perspectives could we get lost and never really understand anything
That's a good point
And it's true that too many perspectives without any grounding can be confusing right
But the key is to find a balance okay acknowledge the different perspectives
But also recognized there are still some objective truth in the world
So it's not about aditching narrarative completely
But we sing them as a starting point to explore and understand
Exactly we can still enjoy a good story
But we don't have to let it define our whole reality
Yeah
It really seems like we have more control than we think absolute
We can choose how we see things
Which stories we stick with
And which perspectives we embrace that's the heart of it
We're not just passive characters in some prewritten story
Right we have the power to shape our own narrative tive and choose how we view the world
This has been such a mind blling conversation
I'm glad
Here i feel like i have a whole new tool kit for dealing with lifefeup up and downs
That's great before you wrap up though any final thoughts or our listeners like what's the one thing
You hope they take away from all this
I say the most important thing is to remember that our lives aren't fixed
You know
We have the ability to change our perspectives yeah
And that can change our experiences yeah
Even our outcomes that's really inspiring it's a powerful realization
It really is it's like going on a minder
That we're not stuck in any one story yeah
We have the power to rewrite it change our perspective
Create a life
That feels real and meaningful
Could not set it better
Myself
Self is been an amazzdeep ep dive
Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your insights
My pleasure
We hope you found it is valvalable
As we did did did did remember your life is not a story
You have a power to shape your own narrarative tive until next time
