In an Amtrak bathroom, I spilled my guts
But the toilet was broken and wouldn't flush
I had to wipe my insides out of the bowl
And throw the towel out the goddamn window
Fairly certain I'm gonna die in this seat
Can't ask for health can't even breathe
Sweating through layers and I'm too quick to react
A self-inflicted panic attack
Angry at myself for just starting to see it
I'm the only reason
I call the shots, I pick these battles, I lose the wars
Should have learned my lesson 4 times before
Sadly I am doing my literal best
This is quite truly as good as it gets
Unless I just try a little bit harder
Nope
A part of me died inside that Amtrak car
New York to Philly isn't even that far
But I felt empty enough to call it quits
Not bold enough to die too scared to live
Is this it?
Is this all there is
Is this it
It is
