And not talk about what I'm wearing or where my career is going
Ready for the check God yes
I'll take it No darling
I said I'll take it Here take it Go Run
Very sweet
And on what they pay you Career
You don't have to worry about me I'm doing fine
I'm afraid this has been denied
That's impossible
That's all right dear Here you go
The One With The Fake Monica
How'd someone get your card number
No idea Look how much they spent
You only have to pay for the stuff you bought
When somebody steals
They've already thrown caution to the wind
Wow what a geek They spent 69 95 on a Wonder Mop
That's me
You see when I say geek I mean
The hell with it you bought a 70 mop you're a geek
Oh yuck Ross he's doing it again
Marcel stop humping the lamp
Stop humping Now Marcel come Come here Marcel
Oh no Not in my room I'll get him
You've got to do something about that
What It's just a phase
Well that's what we said about Joey
You'd think you would be more understanding
I know But we're not
Would you all relax It's not that big a deal
Marcel stop it Marcel Bad monkey What
Let's say my Curious George is no longer curious
You are not still going over that thing
This woman's living my life What
She's living my life and she's doing it better than me
Look at this Look She buys tickets to plays I wanna see
She shops where I'm afraid of the salespeople
She spent 300 on art supplies You're not an artist
I might be if I had the supplies
I mean I could do all this stuff Only I don't
Oh Monica come on You do cool things
Really Let's compare shall we
Oh it's so late for shall we
Do I horseback ride in the park
Do I take classes at the New School No
She's got everything I want and she doesn't have my mother
How about Joey Paponi No still too ethnic
My agent wants a more neutral name Joey Switzerland
Plus I think it should be Joe Joey makes me sound like I'm this big：
Which I'm not
Joe Joe Joe Stalin
Stalin
Do I know that name It sounds familiar
Well it does not ring a bell with me
But you're more plugged into that show business thing
Joe Stalin
You know that's pretty good
You might wanna try Joseph
Joseph Stalin
I think you'd remember that Yes
Bye Bye Birdie starring Joseph Stalin
Hi Yes this is Monica Geller
I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were
I've had a recent head injury and certain numbers
Barbecue Oh did l See there you go
What are you doing All right great
Great Thanks a lot I'm going to tap class
To dance with the woman that stole your card
To see what she looks like
I'm sure her picture's up at the post office
I should get to see who she is
You're kind of losing it here This is becoming a weird obsession
This is madness I tell you
For the love of God Monica don't do it
Thank you
What do you think Lots of things
Which one is she May I help you
No thanks We're just here to observe
You don't observe a dance class You dance a dance class
Spare shoes are over there
What does she mean
I think she means You dance a dance class
Come on come on come on Really
Do you see anybody you think could be me
Last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class
Let's not have that happen again She could be you
Let's get started
Five six five six seven eight
Okay I'm not getting this I'm totally getting it
Do you ever feel like you're so uncoordinated
What You click when they click
All right everyone grab a partner
All right And my dead mother said you are it I'm with Rachel
Great it's gym class all over again
You can come up to the front and dance with me
Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare
It's okay it's okay I'm here I'm here I'm so sorry I'm late
Okay here I am So who's the new tense girl
She's your partner Hi I'm Monica
Oh Monica
Hi I'm Mon
Nana Monana
It's Dutch You're kidding
I spent three years in Amsterdam
Pennsylvania Dutch
And we're dancing five six seven eight
Hi
Hey Where have you been I just got back from the vet
She's not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone
She says Marcel's humping is not a phase
Apparently he's reached ***ual maturity
Hey he beat you
She says as time goes on he's gonna start getting violent
So what does this mean
I have to give him up
I can't believe it This sucks
You just got him How could he be an adult already
I know One day he's this little thing
And then he's this little thing I can't get off my leg
Isn't there any way to keep him
No The vet said unless he's in a place
Where he has regular access
To some monkey loving
He's just gonna get vicious
I just gotta get him into a zoo
How do you get a monkey into a zoo I know
No that's popes into a Vokswagen
We're applying to a lot Our first choice would be a big state zoo
You know like San Diego Right
But that may just be a pipe dream He's out of state
My vet knows someone at Miami so that's a possibility
But that's two blocks from the beach It's a total party zoo
We found the girl
Did you call the cops We took her to lunch
Oh your own brand of vigilante justice
Are you insane This woman stole from you
She stole She's a stealer
After you're with this woman for 10 minutes you forget that
I mean she's this astounding person with this amazing spirit
Which she probably stole from some cheerleader
Take off their hats Popes in a Vokswagen
I love that joke
No way No way did you do this Monana was very brave
We told them we were the Gundersons in room 61 5
Only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire floor
When they saw that we're short and have breasts
They threw us out I was thrown out of a hotel Me
Go Monana
You ladies are not the only ones living the dream
I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know Don't wait up
Oh by the way
Tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show
Excuse me There's an open call for Cats
I'm thinking we sing Memories
And make complete fools of ourselves What do you say
No no no Remember who you're dealing with here
I can't even stand in front of a tap class
That's because of your Amish background
What You're Pennsylvania Dutch right
Right Till I bought a blow dryer Then I was shunned
I was just like you And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life
Did you ever see Dead Poets Society
I thought that movie was so incredibly boring
That thing at the end where the kid
Kills himself because he can't be in the play
It's likeKid wait a year Leave home do some community theater
I thoughtThat's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back
That scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do
Wow Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs Doubtfire
Oh God
We didn't get into Scranton
That was like our safety zoo
They take like dogs and cows
See I don't know who this is harder on me or him
I'd say that chair's taking the brunt of it
Marcel Marcel Marcel no
Good boy See How can nobody want him
Somebody will
You know there already is a Joseph Stalin
You're kidding
Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered people
You'd think you would've known that You'd think I would've
Come on I told you I don't wanna go back to Joey
What do you think a good stage name for me would be
Flame Boy
Where exactly is your zoo
Well it's technically not a zoo per se
It's more of an interactive wildlife experience
Let me ask you some questions about Marcel
Does he fight with other animals No no He's very docile
Even if he were cornered
Well I don't know Why
How is he at handling small objects
He can hold a banana if that's what you mean
What about a hammer or a small blade
Why would he need a blade
If he's up against an animal with horns
You got to give him something
Otherwise it's just cruel
He got into San Diego What
We came back from our walk The phone was ringing
He's in
Did you hear that Marcel San Diego San Diego
You're making a mistake San Diego's good
But I'll start him off against a blind rabbit
And give you 20 of the gate
Where have you been
Monica and I just crashed an embassy party
I think I kissed an archbishop
But of course it could've been a chef
Are you drunk No
I'm lying I am so drunk Oh God
You know what You could've called
I've been worried Monica
Water rules
Yes Yes it does
The restaurant called They wanna know if you're showing up for work
Nope Going to the Big Apple Circus today
You're gonna lose your job This is not you
No it is me
And pays the bills right away
I'm Monana
Hello Yes she is Hold on a second please
Monana it's for you The credit card people
Hello
Yes
Oh my God
Thanks What
They've arrested Monica
Hi Hi
How are you
Not too bad Fortunately blue's my color
How did you know I was here
Because I'm Monica Geller
It was my credit card you were using
That I was not expecting
I want you to know I didn't turn you in
Thanks No thank you
You have given me so much
I'd never have gotten to sing
Memories at the Winter Garden Theater
Actually you only got to sing Memo
I can't believe you're here What will I do without you
Who's gonna crash parties with me
Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus
I started my day by peeing in front of 25 other women
And you're worried about who'll take you to the circus
Well not worried you know just wondering
There's nothing to wonder about
You'll go back to being who you were That's who you are
Not necessarily Yes necessarily
I don't know what it is Maybe it's the Amish thing
I'm not actually Amish Really Then why are you like that
You by the door in or out ln
You're getting it all wrong But at least I'm doing it
This is the final boarding call for Flight 67
To San Diego at gate 42A
Okay goodbye little monkey guy All right I wrote you this poem
Okay but don't eat it till you get on the plane
Thank you Aunt Phoebe
Okay bye champ
There'll be a lot of babes in San Diego
But remember there's also a lot to learn
I don't know what to say Ross It's a monkey
Just say what you feel Joey
Marcel I'm hungry That was good
Marcel this is for you
It's just you know something
To do on the plane
If you don't mind I'd like a moment alone
Oh sure Absolutely Go ahead
Marcel come here Come here Come here
Well buddy
This is it
Just a couple of things I wanted to say
I'm really gonna miss you
You know I'm never gonna forget about you
You've been more than just a pet to me
You've been more like a Okay Marcel
Would you leave my leg alone
Would you stop humping me for two seconds
Okay would you just take him away Just take him
Oh that I were a glove upon that hand
That I might touch thy cheek
That's fine Thank you Next
I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio
Name Holden McGroin
