Hey new wallet
It was time
The old condom ring in the leather just doesn't say cool anymore
Rachel you just put an empty carton back in the fridge
I know but the garbage was full
Have you ever taken out the trash
Since you've lived here
Well I thought you liked doing it
Hey Mr Treeger
What are you doing
I'm sorry
It's a little old but
You're clogging up the chute I just unclogged
I'm sorry I don't come in here a lot
Of course not You're a little princess
Daddy buy me a pizza
Daddy buy me a candy factory
Daddy make the cast of Cats sing Happy Birthday to me
You think you can come here
Make a mess and a big man in coveralls will clean it up
Think of someone else for a change
Okay I'm sorry
God if you're going to cry about it
Treeger made you cry
He said really mean things that were only partly true
I'll teach him a lesson
Joey don't Let's forget about it
That's easy for you to say You weren't almost just killed
All right that's it School is in session
Is this a gym card
Oh yeah gym member
I try to go four times a week but I've missed 1
The last 1200 times
So why don't you quit
You don't think I've tried
You think I like having 50 a month taken from my account 50
They make you go all the way down there
They use all these phrases and peppiness to confuse you
And then they bring out Maria
Who is Maria Oh Maria
You can't say no to her
Do you need me to go with you and hold your hand
Oh no You'll have to come
Tribbiani Hold on
I'll get the plunger
You hold on You made my friend Rachel cry
So you'll go and apologize to her
Unless you want me to call the landlord
Maybe you haven't heard of not making girls cry
Maybe you haven't heard of the Rent Stabilization Act of 1968 1968
I have actually not heard of that
Your friends are violating it
I've been nice until now but I don't need this grief
I'm telling the landlord
Monica's illegally subletting her grandmother's place
Your friends are out of here pal
Somebody tell me I don't have to work today
What's the matter
My first massage is this incredibly gorgeous guy
Every time I see him I want to
Do things to him I can't charge for
So do them for free
No it is forbidden
Mrs Potter fires people for messing around with clients
And it's against my oath as a masseuse
They make you take an oath No I made myself take one
No fooling around with clients
And always be prepared
That one's from the Boy Scouts but it just makes good sense
Why not give him to someone else
No I can handle it I'm a professional
Pheebs is that a new ankle bracelet
You got a pedicure
Your feet are all dressed up
That's the only part he can see when he's on the table
You're going to do some feet flirting
I don't know what you're talking about
How do you explain the toe ring
It's Arabian Princess Day at work Leave me alone
My hero What happened
I told him no one treats my friends like that
And he better apologize See you
Wait a minute
What did he say
Instead he'll evict you See you later
You got us evicted I told you not to go down there
He made Rachel cry
Rachel always cries
That's not true
You go down there and you suck up to him
You suck like you've never sucked before
All right I'll try
If I can't you stay with us till you get settled
Go All right all right
I'll have to check first but he'll be cool
Remember what we talked about You got to be strong
Now one more time
Don't you want a washboard stomach and rock hard pecs
No I want a flabby gut and saggy man breasts **
That's good
I want to quit the gym
You want to quit
I want to quit the gym
You do realize you won't have access to our new Swedish spa SPA
I want to quit the gym
Dave in the membership office handles quitters
Excuse me Are you a member
Me
Sorry Members only
I want to quit the gym
It's okay man Be strong
Are you a member of any gym
No and I'm not going to be So save your little speech
Okay no problem
Could you come here
Hi I'm Maria
You have really pretty feet
These old things
Would you spend time on my sciatic area It's killing me **
You mean
By sciatic you mean **
Sure I can do that
Because the muscles in the sciatic area can get **
Real nice and tight
So tell me Rick how did you injure the area
A 16 hour sit in for Greenpeace 16
Did you just bite me No
Please don't kick the girls out This was my fault
You want me to kick you guys out instead
You can't Where would the chick and the duck live
Those are nicknames
I'm the chick and Chandler's the duck
I would've thought it was the other way around
Come on Let the girls stay
Really You'd do anything
Yeah absolutely
I got something
What is it
Can you be my dancing partner
That's not prison lingo is it
I want to quit the gym
Can you honestly tell me that you're 100 satisfied with your body
Yes yes Most of the time
I mean sure I have my bad days but then I remember what a cute smile I have
We were voted Best equipped Gym in New York two years running 2
Do you really want to give that up Yes I hate it here
Everything that you have in here is very heavy
You want to make your friend work out alone
What friend Your friend Ross Just joined
His dancing partner
There's this superintendents' dance The Super Ball
He wants to impress Marge this lady super he likes
Why not practice with a girl
He's too shy
He's not good enough to dance with girls yet
Yeah right
He almost danced me right down that garbage chute
Would you let it go already You're fine
So did you quit
I almost did
Couldn't leave Ross there without a spotter
Wait now so you joined the gym
And that's funny why
I was just you know picturing you working out and
Well that's it
We're doomed
They'll take 50 a month from our accounts for the rest of our lives 50
What are we gonna do
You could actually go to the gym
Or we could go to the bank
Close our accounts and cut them off at the source
You're a genius
Oh man But then we won't be bank buddies
Now there's two reasons
You guys remember that cute client I told you about
I bit him
Where On the tushy
And that's not against your oath
I know but the moment I touch him
I want to throw out my old oath and take a new dirty one
Next time try to distract yourself
Like when I'm doing something exciting
And I don't want to get too
Excited
And Chandler
Thank you Oh no thank you
All right I'm here Let's get this over with
Okay well
Just follow my lead
Don't we need to do some kind of preparation first
Like get really drunk
Come on Hey just put your arms around me
I'm sorry
My breasts are coming out my back **
Forget it I'm not being any good at this
My mom was right
I'm just a big potato with arms and legs and a head
Come on man You're not a potato
I'm sure as hell not a dancer It's no use
Marge will never go for me
Come on Treeger Don't say that
You just need more practice
Come on Let's try it again
Plus it was probably mostly my fault anyway
I'm not that comfortable dancing with a
So how goes the dancing Gay yet
You guys owe me bigtime
What was that
You just did a little dancy thing
No I didn't Yes you did
You did a little hop You are so enjoying this
No I'm not
And it wasn't a hop It was a pas de bourree
You know the words
You are so into this
Maybe I'm enjoying it a little I'm getting pretty good at it
This is so sweet Joey our little twinkletoes
It's like a sport it's manly
Show me some manly moves All right
I don't know how to lead
Hello
We'd like to close our accounts
Close your accounts Is there a problem
No we'd just like to close them
Ms Lambert handles all our closures
Would you come over here please
Hi I'm Karen
I want to quit the bank
Okay Baseball
Rick playing baseball He slides into second
Maybe even his pants come down a little
Okay sandwiches Sandwiches
Okay on a plate
Maybe Rick's pants come down a little
Chandler
Okay Chandler That's working
Chandler's knees
Chandler's ankles
Chandler's ankle hair
Oh no
Okay you're all set
Wow That was amazing
Was that really just an hour 1
In really long hour world 1
What
I have an enormous crush on you
But since you're a client I can't ask you out
Even though you give me the feelings
I had no idea
I can always find another masseuse
Yeah really
What
Suddenly I'm very aware I'm naked
Quiet down
Mr Simon's been waiting Oh my God
Why wasn't I offered that
I'd definitely pay more for that
We have rules here This is not that kind of place
I know but this isn't how it looks at all
Because Rick is my husband
Oh really
You'd better tell his other wife
She called three times asking where he is
Yes I will tell her
So you didn't leave the bank
And somehow we ended up with a joint checking account
What will you ever use that for
To pay for the gym
So I had a great day
Rick and I hit it off We were making out
Then my boss walked in and fired me for being a w***e
You got fired Oh my gosh
It's so weird I have never been fired from anything
Sweetie
I started walking around not knowing what to do next
I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages
Then these policemen thought I was a w***e too **
It's really been a bad day w***e wise **
Hey Duck Is Chick here
Yeah Bunny Rabbit
Ready for our last practice
We're not getting that spin right because my place is too small
Want to use our place No I had another idea
We did it
That was incredible
That was amazing We totally nailed it
Hey listen Thanks a lot Tribbiani
Oh my God Look at the time
I got to catch the bus to the ball
Good luck
Unless you want to practice the fox trot Or the tango
You see I think I'm ready to dance with girls
Go get them Treeger Right
You want to come Marge has a friend
Really
You'd dance good with her She's the same size as me
No I'm good
It looks like you've got great experience
Let's see Reason for leaving last job
Okay We'll give you a call if anything comes up
Great Thank you very much
