The Hard Way(Duffy's Tavern) (Remaster) - Betty Hutton
I exercised each morning
Cold creamed my face each night
Saw my dentist twice a year
Curbed my appetite
And so I modestly admit
It didn't help one single bit
Some girls can make any man dream
By flashing an innocent gleam
Me I do and hiccup curl my upper lip up
Light a roman candle and scream
I have to do it the hard way
Some girls can wear any old rags
And capture the wolves and the stags
Me I dress in sables walk across the tables
Waving three American flags
I have to do it the hard way
Let's say there's a dance
They're playing a waltz
And I want romance
That's when I begin turning sommersalts
Some girls can keep men on their toes
By smiling and throwing a rose
Me I wrack my noodle whistle yankee doodle
Balancing a broom on my nose
Oh ima telling you why
I have to do it the hard way
My freshman year in college
I remember I was mild
I wore pretty clothes got an a in geometry
A normal child
But nobody wanted to date me
I'd sit at home and dream
So in order to get attention
I had to scream
The fellas liked girls who wore perfurme
So I bought forbidden flower
But I had to mix it with ether
To get them in my power
I didn't want to go crazy
But I ain't kidding jack
Since that time I'm telling you I'm
A raving ranting impetuous panning violent maniac
The girls who read books and wear specs
Get fellas with great intellects
Me I get fanatics
Guys who live in attics
Yes I even pick up the checks
I have to do it the hard way
Suppose there's a park
A boy on a bench
I'm out for a lark
So I make him fall with a monkey wrench
When someone like hedy lamarr
Steps into the swankiest bar
All the fellas get up
Light her cigarette up
Me I'd have to smoke a cigar
And then they call me a car
Doin' everything the hard way
