时间：2014-02-25
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Lady Hyacinth Abroad - Jefferson Mays/A Gentleman's Guide To Love And Murder Original Broadway Cast
If I'm ever to show my face in society again
I've got to find a new cause of my own and quickly
Come come any ideas
Daisy Greville has the old lady Sitwell has the blind
And the fund for sailor's widows
That's the two of them combined
Night school for the nervous
Lady beach and Margaret guest
Crutches for the crippled
That was Elsie ponds bequest
Wayward women
Daisy Greville
Who's behind disfigured men
Daisy Greville
And the deaf don't tell me it's Greville yet again
Everyone's got something can't you see why I'm bereft
I want to do some good but what the devil's left
What the devil's left
If I may your ladyship
One hears about such terrible poverty in Egypt these days
Egypt land of the pharaohs and of Moses the Israelite
Home to the great pyramids and the sphinx
That's it we'll populate an orphanage in Cairo
With foundlings from the reeds along the Nile
To watch a creature grow
To swaddle it and know the joy of
It's pathetic little smile
It's little smile
The news will travel soon enough to London
To London
Our selflessness will meet with great acclaim
Huzzah
The sniping will be stilled
And the empire will be filled
With homes for bastard children in my name
All aboard the Luxor express to Cairo
And off she went
What I failed to tell her was
That a violent uprising against the empire was imminent
And no British citizen was considered safe
So you can imagine my surprise when
Lady hyacinth returned to London quite unharmed
Oh where will my largesse be truly appreciated
I need a place so low that hope itself has been abandoned
You've heard of course of the untouchables in India
India land of Hindus and Muslims
Of tamarind and saffron exotic and unknowable
That's it we'll find ourselves some lepers in the Punjab
The hopeless and the wretched and the cursed
Forgotten and unblessed
Unblessed
I'll take them to my breast
Your breast
If Daisy Greville doesn't get there first
When we arrive they'll hobble out to greet us
Hello there
Their toothless grins would melt a heart of stone
Awww
And every dilettante
Will envy me and want a colony of lepers of her own
Now not a word to even your mothers till we leave although
Come to think of it
What is the point of helping others unless you let the whole world know
Call the times of London
And off she went
I neglected to mention the malaria pandemic in the Punjab
A bit of insurance in case leprosy itself failed to prove contagious
So you can imagine my shock
When lady hyacinth returned to London in record time
Quite the picture of health
I don't suppose you'd be willing to penetrate
The jungle of deepest darkest Africa
Africa from Zululand to Yoruba
Home of proud warriors that naked torsos rippling in the firelight
We'll civilize a village in the jungle
The jungle
It can't take long to learn their mother tongue
Not long then
The words they have are six and five of them are clicks
And all of them are different words for dong
And can't you see their frightful painted faces
Their faces
They'll teach us how to swing from vine to vine
From vine to vine to vine
It's Daisy Greville's loss she'll never come across
A tribe of backward natives worse than mine
Their may appall us but even they are part of God's design
Awww
We bid you all goodbye
Goodbye
Let all of London try
To find a tribe of natives worse than mine
Charity towards others is divine
Divine divine divine divine charity is divine
