Late Night Apologies

I practice sorry in my head

But never say it instead

I write your name on empty cups

Like maybe love will fill me up

I was young, I was afraid

Didn’t know how to communicate

I raised my voice, shut my heart

That’s where we fell apart

I said I needed space to breathe

But really I needed you

Now I’m learning silence hurts

More than the truth ever could

I replay fights like movie scenes

Wishing I’d just listened more

I didn’t know goodbye was close

Until you closed the door

I blame myself on sleepless nights

For all the things I handled wrong

I loved you loud, but not enough

When you needed me strong

You asked for effort, I gave time

Like that was ever the same

I didn’t cheat, I didn’t lie

But I still caused you pain

Now I’m older, still confused

Still missing parts of you

I changed habits, changed my tone

But you’re already gone

If regret could turn to gold

I’d buy back what we had

I’d say sorry face to face

Not through songs and notepad apps

These late night apologies

Don’t reach you anymore

I say sorry to the ceiling

While you sleep at someone else’s door

If I could go back just once

I’d love you without fear

But timing never waits around

It disappears