Intrusive thoughts clouding my judgement while the fog houwls at the night sky in my nightmares. The breath of the ocean feels the waves as they meet my feet and i stand there wondering, how did we get here? How did we get in so deep. The road felt so steep Freed from the deed i needed to do before the end hit me hard on the head im just standing frozen as if bolted to the ocean floor while my shins tremble as they clash with the waves, the seas roar with the fear of me never having known why and never knowing anything anymore. . Why did this happen to me? Why did i not figure it out. Why did i keep questioning everything without even a doubt. How dumb of me to think, that i was special at anything, i was a people pleaser, yet i didnt really like most of them. Why did i let them take me down, spin me around, make me dance, be a Stan-d UP comedian off the clock, no pay check in sight. It was all in the mind but it was the way it made me feel at first. It was as if dying of thirst. You wanted to do it cus it made ya feel good. Get in your head and figure out where it was you stood. I wonder if there was a cross road i missed or a destination i could have skipped, a trail i could have seen but didnt cus i was to distracted by the bully being mean. I mean its hard to tell, but i might aswell, you see i think it was you, you did this to me and now im standing here with no shoes. I guess you Come to this place all alone and you leave the same way, no regrets its the story you made, it wont fade, you are bigger than i ever was you were great. You see me now, at deaths door and you wonder how the Light you shon so bright never made it out. Just into my eye ball. Just wow. I feel you now. I never got to tell you i loved you in person. That must have been for a reason, no telling how many seasons i waited for it all only to be a big lesson. I guess that time have to wait till i see you again. A different place than the one we are in. Maybe its here but different, maybe its heaven. Maybe its nowhere and we Just forget we ever existed. Untill then. Amen
