Black Water

You live by a mantra that describes you well

Be curious not judgemental

I don’t know why I suddenly remembered that.

Our encounter such a pleasant memory

You’re easy to talk to

And hard to forget

and no I still haven’t been

to the Scottish meadows

You know that dream?

It still keeps coming back to me:

I’m standing by a lake pitch black in the full moon

The forest mirrors perfectly on the still surface.

So still is the water you can see every detail, every texture

So undisturbed that when I enter it’s as if entering into

pitch. black. oil.

moon beams strike the waves making

white lights flow and dance

on the branches of a tree that bows above me

The quality of that moment passed me by

The perfection of it somehow uneventful

Adrenaline filled my veins, the terror

of nowhere to hide

A blow back, I left traces

And it hurts the regret, stabbing at my chest

I lived most of my life behind the curtain

We are only as sick as our darkest secrets

I look down not expecting to see

my hand in the dark water but

there it is under a perfectly clear almost hyaline surface

it seems paler then it really is,

Ripples circle my body, gliding forward over

the perfect mirror-image of the night,

obscuring the detailed textures of the forest

and disturbing the twinkling light of the stars

that cover a pretend sky

moon beams strike the waves making white lights flow and dance on the branches of a tree that bowes above me.

The quality of that moment passed me by

The perfection of it somehow uneventful

Adrenaline filled my veins, the terror

of nowhere to hide

A blow back, I left traces

And it hurts, the regret stabbing at my chest

I lived most of my life behind the curtain

We are only as sick as our darkest secrets

I hope you are still in London

I soon will be and want to take some more

pleasant walks with you

Right after I must head to Istanbul

You must tell me how to reach that fascinating

cave city you explored.

Now leave your address and phone number at

all of the places I wrote you.

In case you don’t receive this letter by this Friday,

Let us plan to meet at noon, Sunday

in front of Westminster Abbey

ET Monday 19th Sept´22