when trying hard not to remember makes you think about it more
i stand up straight, you measure, and you mark it on the door
never saw you walk on water
but i watched you mother four
you couldn’t raise me like a father
when we’re choking on our child support
am i smart
or just thinking really hard?
destined for dementia,
doomed right from the very start
our trauma bond was tangled
in tape from the vcr
so sick to my stomach
i was forcefed the fear of the dark
when you lose all muscle memory
and you forget completely how to stand,
you know i won’t let you forget me
i’ll come convince you who i am
i’ll make you understand
touch and go,
now you see me now you don’t
phantom limb affection
crave the feeling
of your ghost
you’re forging all the symptoms that you
never had supposed
you learned to live with them
said it’s easier to live alone
sick from the soothing,
drowning in dreams,
shellshocked in shelter,
you’ll pass in your sleep
the thorn in my side was grown from your ground
you are never before seen, never again found
i came to see
how the world looks without me
is it all you thought it’d be?
living in loving memory
you built me a home inside a bucket
and you’re poking some holes up top so i can breathe
knew i was lying
when i had to look away
do you think we’d be friends when we were younger?
if i knew you back then, god knows who i would be
walking in semi circles
to shape this baby face
a picture portrait of you, you’re pouting
plucked from the days where you couldn’t feel a thing
a thousand words and always counting
but you, i can’t explain
