even when I searched for love in the silence deep inside your eyes
I suddenly remember you saying the words were never enough
now that I think about it
that small chest beneath your gentle face
and that voice that slightly caught in your nose
I could go on forever counting them
I loved you
blaming your change of heart only leaves me empty
“you might catch my cold
so let’s not kiss tonight,” you used to say
looking back now, even then
your attitude had already begun to change
when it came down to it
every night when you were falling asleep
I could’ve called you like always
though honestly I never meant to
I lose my sense of who I am
what does it even mean to be a man?
clouds drifting in the evening glow
I wish I could be like that
I’ve always overthought things and failed because of it
now that I think about it
that honest, unmistakable voice of yours
and those rough hands that never suited housework
every single piece that made you who you were
I loved them all
blaming your change of heart won’t bring you back
if someday we happen to meet again in this city
don’t be more beautiful than you are now
I’d probably end up forgetting
that warmth
my beloved, goodbye
even your silent eyes will someday fade into memory
let’s step through this tunnel of grief that won’t turn into words
