I Don’t Say This Out Loud

I don’t say this out loud

But some nights still feel long

I don’t ask for much now

Just a place to belong

I’ve learned how to smile

In a quieter way

I keep most of my feelings

Where no one will stay

I don’t need you to hear

I don’t need you to know

Some things feel safer

When they’re left below

I don’t say this out loud

But I miss who I was

Before all the noise

Before I learned love

It’s not sadness or pain

Just a soft kind of truth

I don’t say this out loud

But I’m still healing too

I walk past the mirror

It nods back at me

Like it understands

What I don’t want to see

I’ve made peace with the dark

I’ve made room for the light

They don’t fight each other

They just share the night

I don’t need fixing hands

I don’t need a sign

I just needed the time

To call this mine

I don’t say this out loud

But I miss who I was

Before all the noise

Before I learned love

It’s not sadness or pain

Just a soft kind of truth

I don’t say this out loud

But I’m still healing too

If you hear this someday

Know I’m already okay

I just wanted a place

Where my heart could be safe

I don’t say this out loud

I just let it be true

Not a wound, not a scar

Just a part of my youth

So I whisper it here

Where the night won’t respond

I don’t say this out loud

But I’m moving along