Now you've all heard foolish questions and no doubt you've wondered why
Some person will ask a foolish question and expect a sensible reply
Like when you take your girl some candy say maybe just after tea
You notice how she'll grab it and then she'll say Is this for me
Foolish questions you can answer when you can
No I bought this candy for your Ma or Pa or for John the hired hand
I just thought you'd like to see it now I'm gonna take it away
Now wasn't that a foolish question You'll hear 'em ev'ry day
And then most every morning there is someone 'round the place
Who sees you take the shaving brush and lather up your face
And as you give the razor a preliminary wave
This fool will walk up and ask you Are you gonna take a shave
Foolish questions your answer is I hope
No I ain't prepared for shavin' I just like the taste of soap
I kinda like to take the shaving brush and paint myself this way
Now wasn't that a foolish question You'll hear 'em ev'ry day
Now then there's this fella who meets you on your way
And asks you why your all dressed up and listens while you say
That you just been returning from the funeral of poor old Uncle Ned
As soon as you have told him he will say Is Ned dead
Foolish questions you might as well reply
No he thought he'd have the funeral now then later on he'd die
You know Ned was always so original he wanted it that way
Now wasn't that a foolish question You'll hear 'em ev'ry day
Now suppose the elevator guy should forget to close the door
And you should tumble down oh say forty seven floors
And when you reach the bottom and you're lying there inert
Some fool will stick his head down the shaft and holler Are you hurt
Foolish questions your dying words are
No I was in an awful hurry and that elevator's just too slow
Usually saves a lot of time you know comin' down this way
Now wasn't that a foolish question You'll hear 'em ev'ry day
That was a foolish question you'll hear 'em ev'ry day
