“Going to see Touchpants is like a last-call bar hookup. Somewhere deep down in your booze-battered psyche, you know it’s bad idea. You know you’ll wake up in the morning smelling of equal parts whiskey, cigarettes and shame. You also know you’re gonna do it anyway because, hey, it’s been a while, right? A person has needs. And sometimes those needs supersede your moral code, negligible as that may be in a bar at 2 a.m. Sometimes you need a cheap thrill…Sometimes, you just gotta go home with Touchpants.” – Dan Bolles 7 Days