It’s hard to tell where the fairy tale ended and the nightmare began. I was spending quality time with a lonely Bigfoot when we were approached by a friendly robot bearing w**d. We sang songs, the black elf danced… then evil descended upon us. Like a politician caught soliciting sex in a public bathroom we were screwed. Like day-old Nazi whores we were screwed. But Saint Wally saved us. Now I work for Saint Wally.